Had a rough night at they gym yesterday. Not exactly sure why...it's funny to me, I often have one really good day where I feel strong, or confident, or some such thing and soon there is something that shows up that gives me a little nudge. As if to say, here is something you really need to work on. That is really part of the beauty of CrossFit, isn't it? A broad spectrum of moves....and there are really not that many people who master all of it.
Yesterday we worked on our form for the Snatch and the Clean & Jerk (stop giggling). we went light to clean up mistakes and to prep for our 1rep max chase today. then the workout.
400 mt run
10 (wo)man makers
The complex for the Makers was super cool... dumb bell in each hand~drop to ground, push up, renegade row, push up, renegade row, clean & jerk=one rep. I looked at the run and thought...not too bad...its only three rounds. The mild bit of smoke in the air plus the heat can be an issue for my asthma, so I put my inhaler by my dumb bells and trotted off for the first run. I didn't come in that far last....:) I ticked away at the Makers and took off again...as I came in from the second run I needed a hit. ok....I slowly picked away at the second set of Makers...then the last run...if you can call what I do running. At this point, I was litterally counting my steps as I was running. 1, 2, 3 ,4.
I was coming around the second corner...and dammit...Patsy was there to greet me. She came back out after she was done working out, just to help me finish. (Or maybe BJ sent her out to make sure I had not died)...I was grateful...she ran me in the door. So I kept ticking away. I really really wanted to stop. My breathing was nasty loud wheezy. I would slow it down for a bit but it kept controlling me instead of me controlling it.
Once I finished...I needed another hit...but I told Kim when I was done that this was the sort of thing that used to keep me from working out. I really thought that I would die. I know it is just something to push though, use the meds...blah blah. I rested for a while then I got up to do the "Good Mornings", I did one set... then something shifted. I had to lay on the floor and I was completely drenched in sweat. Sick to my stomach too. I could not lift myself without feeling like I was gonna puke. Kim got me my water...I finally remembered something...I got my ass off the floor went outside and dumped the water on the back of my neck.
I felt icky the rest of the night and went to bed early...and slept a little late. I feel fine now. My ego is a little bruised. I feel embarrassed that I had my radiator overheat in front of so many people, but what are you gonna do?
Not sure how I let myself cross that line. I know it is my responsibility to stop when I need to stop...but there is that line of pushing that I am still learning.
Makes me scared when I think of this new program I am about to start...I look at the numbers of reps and weights and I don't know if I have it in me. I can't help but look at this program and think, are you kidding me? This is obviously designed for someone younger, fitter, stronger, and did I say younger than myself. But who am I if I give up on this before I even start? So, I will tick away at these weights, these reps. I will trust BJ and Will, cause they really know what they are doing, I will accept help as I need it, and hopefully I will learn something about myself and my strength along the way.