Wednesday, May 30, 2012


I thought after I got through this past week...2 graduations, 2 Highland Competitions that I might have something to talk about on this here old blog...but I really find myself at a loss for words. 

Two things I walked away with:
Change is always happening.
There is always more to learn.

At rio grande I walked away with 2 pr's and an epic failure in hammers. In, South Carolina, I walked away with 2 pr's (one of them in hammers), an epic failure in heavy weight for distance and to my shock and surprise, I took 3rd.

I saw ~again~ how much one's mind plays into performance.  It is not everything, but it can be huge. The big lesson for me was during Heavy Weight for Distance...I could not move my body...I was not letting the weight move me...and I nearly fell...all three throws. It was literally the WORST I have thrown this event.  Pierre was cranky and kept trying to remind me to let it go, let it go.  The next event was, of course, light weight for distance....I took a breath, laughed at myself...and um...threw really close to my pr.  I took second in the event.

I know I have so so much to much to train and lift this year....but this week, I am just gonna clean my house and go to some CrossFit classes.  Next week, I'll figure out what the training plan is.

Today...  I have some overhead squats, rowing, running, thrusters, and burpees to do.

Friday, May 25, 2012


Have not posted in so long. I need to get some thoughts down about the Albuquerque games.....about my plans for the summer too. I need to get the stuff written about my summer training in part to keep me on track.

I have one day until I throw and grow with the Masters in South Carolina and as they might say down here(with a drawl) I am as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

My plan is to hold the mind of a beginner. That is who I am. Well that and eat a boatload of pulled pork while trying to avoid sweet tea.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Schedule for Rio Grande

Ok, so some of you have asked...well...WHEN do you throw?

So, here is the schedule.  Now just to be clear this is always subject to change...depending on the number of athletes, the speed of the throwing, the need for food and bathroom breaks...blah blah blah.

Women's Open Class Sunday May 20th

9          Heavy Weight for Distance
9:30   Light Weight for Distance
10:15 Breamer Stone
11      SHEAF

1        CABER
2:15  Weight over Bar
3:15  Heavy Hammer
4        Light Hammer

There we have it.  I don't have the list athletes yet and I might not know until I am on the field anyway.

The other classes throwing on Sunday are Men's A & C and Light weight men, Light weight Women and under 17.   

Kegan was gonna throw but he backed out...something about needing time to rehearse.  Probably true since he is in two shows right now.

Last night was super nice.  Had a crazy dumbbell workout which seems super beneficial for my grip, especially since some of the numbness has been sneaking back into my extremities.  I am not happy about that at all...sorta scares me frankly...I know I could probably use a little more attention on my neck.  Mobility in the C7 relieves that stupid stenosis. I am much more aware of the numbness and the loss of grip than I ever was, simply because I have such amazing body work that made it disappear.  Or maybe made it just me aware of what I was feeling (and not feeling) in the first place.  I swear, I cannot and will not give in to that original diagnosis.   So...time to look at what I am doing that is not helping. 

Did a bunch of Cleans, Back Squats, and Push Presses...Mostly at 50 %.  BJ was great helping me out with the cleans.  He gave me this correction that I am sure will shoot my max higher.  I was not getting my elbows up as high as I could by relying on my wrist flexibility...this was pulling my forward just a little bit.  When I pulled my elbows up...I could actually feel my back respond differently...keeping me more upright, so much so that it pulled me off of my feet a little.  Generated just that much more power.  Crazy huh?  

Later, I threw things at my neighbors again~one of them came out and asked if I wanted his shot put...  I told him about the games and I am hoping he will come down to ABQ this weekend.  He threw in both High School and College so.... yea.... he should.  He said the next time he sees me out his kitchen window, he'll come throw with me!  I also showed a couple of ladies sheaf last night...One of them, Rebecah,is a dancer...and holy shit she can throw!  Same as my kid...something about getting those hips engaged huh? 

It was really great to be outside last night too....throwing, watching my girl ride around on her scooter avoiding the hammer, watching the sunset....

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Forks and such.

Working out seems to be difficult this week, last week too...Lots of school stuff, NDI, mom stuff...all really great stuff, funny though, that these games I have signed up for are headed my way and I feel super unprepared. Next week?  Two graduations are added.  Wow....I keep having this memory of the midwife putting Kegan on my chest, looking up at Pierre and saying,"what the hell do we do now?"

 As for my workouts?  On Saturday I threw for HWFD, LWFD, Light hammer, Stones, and sheaf. I think I figured out what is happening in my hammer, but I have no idea how to fix it. I seem to have developed a fear of the speed coming around the second turn, so I pull my arms in.  I am not keeping my arms straight as the hammer comes over my head..there is something chaotic about it....which mimics a bit of the chaos I feel in my life right I hold the hammer in, instead of letting it fly. Not really sure how to let go of this...I wonder if I should just let myself fall, so that I am reminded to simply get back up.  'Cause really~falling isn't so's getting up that counts.  I also seem to be struggling with my foot work on the Weight for Distance... AGAIN?  fear of the trig. Worked out yesterday at a friends house, lots of Bench Press work and some back squats and some cleans. Nothing heavy...working on speed.  This summer, I'll hit the power sections of Matt's Training.

See this photo?  yes...its the start of my very own fork.  Yes....Pierre carved my Highland games nick name into the handle....yes it is adorable.....It will take a while to finish it as the tines are dull and too thick, but it was super sweet...the only thing sweeter were the notes I got from the kids for Mother's Day. Now, I gotta see if I can make it to the gym this week....and it I can throw ANYTHING decent this Sunday at the Rio Grande games.  Maybe I'll fall over a lot...that would be the best.

Friday, May 11, 2012

riding out the year....

Ugh..I feel so nervous when I think about this ... and then sometimes, I hit this really calm place.  I am coming up on an anniversary~next week are my first repeat games!  I have been doing more specific training for a little more than a month now, thanks to Matt Vincent and a couple of other folks....but I wonder how much it will translate into my throws.  I obviously psyched myself out in Oklahoma and I really don't wanna do that "at home."

One do we put so much emphasis on dates and anniversaries~marking time, progress, failures, growth, changes.  Most of the time, if I am super honest, "things" don't really change all that much...not the important things...the core of who we are kinds of things.

Sheeseh..I am still the insecure jumble of athlete I was at this point last year...a giggling brute is what someone called me after the Rio Grande games last year. I just know more about how to throw~I am not necessarily better..I just have a slightly better understanding if what I am doing wrong now, which is a good thing.  There are so many, too many other things that have changed for me to even get into.

Lists are no fun anyway.

There is an endless amount to keep learning...about throwing, about how *I* throw, about training...again, it is so much like my art...endless possibilities to grow.

I really love this sport and I hope lots of you will come and watch...not me...but all of these folks...especially the Master's Groups on Saturday.  Well, I guess I won't mind if you watch me for a little bit (I throw on Sunday)...see me outside of CrossFit, outside of a theater, and yes, outside of my comfort zone...still...

Rio Grande Celtic Fest

If you do come down...bring me a beer?  It gets hot.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Pieces I miss...

Last night, I was able to be an actor for a while. I guess it hasn't been that long, but when I spend time away from my artistic self, I get super~duper nervous when I get back at it. Mind you, this was a READING for a Directing Workshop, not high level stuff here; I had to read two scenes, both from very well known scripts, in both, I played men.

Keep your giggling down please.

It doesn't really matter in some ways, since both of these scripts deal with the humanity of these gender matters not. I got to work with Leslie Dillon as well, so yea....very cool. The workshop is taught by Peter Kershaw...also very cool.

It's funny, I took this break from acting so I could focus on getting the big monkey off to college...and when I did that I found the Scottish games as a *replacement*. I didn't intend for that to just showed up. So, as the monkey moves on this summer...I find myself wondering how to manage both theater and the games. I know I have shared this with a couple of people, but one of the things that has knocked me on my ass so to speak, is just how similar these two activities are...and how similar the people I care to be near are as well.

When I throw...just as when I act, I need to have my basic work under my belt...but in order to either throw well or have a scene work...I have to let go of the work and simply be present in the moment in which it is or sport. This description is oversimplified of course, but it captures the basic idea. As for the artists I prefer to work with, they are much like the athletes I am throwing with....we all know that if we hold each other up to do the best work we can...that EVERYONE can push past what they thought they could do. It is not about outshining someone is about respecting the art or the sport, so that we are all made better for it.

I miss acting....

As for today's workout:
 Push Presses:
45lbs x 10
65lbs x 10
85lbs; 3x5


85lbs x 10
190lbs. 3x5
And...good mornings 45 lb bar 3x10


a little Sheaf,  Stones, Light weight for foot work has fallen apart 5 single turns, 10 Full throws and well, a little work with the PVC.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Form and Focus

Crazy practice yesterday!

Ok, anyone who has been throwing with knows my opinion about the sheaf....basically:


Well, yesterday there were a couple of new people so Chuck was going over some sheaf basics, along with showing a couple of different forms. One of them is nicknamed Colorado...I guess throwers up there use it. Now I have seen people play with this form before, but it looked a little crazy to me so I don't think I ever tried it.


As I was watching Chuck, I realized that this particular form more closely matched how I throw Weight over utilizes my giant butt in a more direct way. So I try it. As usual...I kinda throw Sheaf for wasn't way over to the right. I try it a couple of times.

Hot Damn.....It goes over the center of the bar. It doesn't feel like a goes higher.


Feels like an easy 20'...

OBVIOUSLY, there is more to figure out on this form, but I don't struggle with it like I do the more traditional throw. More lessons here about finding the right way for your body to move.

I do feel a little crazy though, is only 2 weeks before the Rio Grande Games and only 3 weeks 'til South Carolina. I am changing form now? really? YES! may as well...

I also worked on my Weight over Bar form...worked on keeping my knees loose as the bar got works. I am sure I will have to keep working on this, but it felt really really good this weekend.

If only I could find my hammer form again. I can't even practice this week..I um...broke my hammer AGAIN.

Today's Workout:
Back Squats:
45lbs x10
75lbs x10
105. x10
135lbs. 3x5

Then 5x5 dead lifts.

This part was funny...I started at 145,185, 225, 245 then finished at 265.

Or so I thought. Turns out I completely screwed up the math and I started higher.....and finished higher. Hell, I was very happy with the 265 for 5 reps, but the trainer came over looked at me and said, "No, I think you finished at 295." I may have laughed and said no way....then he walked me though the plates (he had helped me clear my bar). Um, well... He is right...295.
I told him that is really close to my one rep max, no wonder my eyes felt like they were gonna pop out of my head.

Wow. 5 reps at 295.

Then he says....we'll get you higher.

Hmmm, something strikes me here: obviously my little brain didn't get in the way of my lifting so heavy, since I had no idea what I was even lifting.

I had fun too. One of the guys came over to me during my last lift and whipped his belt off and asked if I wanted to use it. I said no, I have never used one before. Well, there is no time like the present...try it. So he strapped me in, which was a little weird, but dang, I think it helped.

Cool couple of days... Lots of form, lots of lifts, and loads of fun too.

Friday, May 4, 2012

New stuff!

Had such a great night Thursday night...well, I did have a little too much wine and I ate the demon cheese from Trader Joe's, but it was great to hang out with some of the artists in my life.

So, yesterday I did something in the gym I have never done, no laughing. Seriously, no laughing. I have never bench pressed.

Done laughing yet? Good.

I know I am a big girl.... A lifter...but the gym I was very first gym...did not use this move, did not even have benches. So, I must say I was excited to give this move a try. I already know that moves that look simple never are. I think that is why I like lifting so reminds me of my acting work. The best actors make it look so easy.

So 3x3 bench press.

Started with a bar.
Then 75, 105, then 115 only 2 reps.

Not much I know, but I guess it's a good a place to start as any.

I am gonna work the form on this sucker too...where does the bar drop? How do I hold the bar? Blah blah.

After the bench press...deads, pushups, and kettle bells.

I love dead lifts. My big butt loves deads.

Today... I am gonna throw my pretty new sheaf bag...and my hammer..

And my last new thing for the weekend? The NDI gala. So excited to see my boy dance for the last time during the "Big Show" hopefully I don't cry. Too much....

Thursday, May 3, 2012

So, the last few days I have been back in the gym.  A different gym.


5 X 3 Hang Cleans  at 95lbs
then 3 rounds of
9 Overhead Squats and 400 meter run

1 Rope Climb
50 jump roping
5 Burpees
Bear Crawl
Stone & Heavy Weight for Distance

Yes...I sucked...I actually went to this new gym on these two days because they were filled with so many things that I am either afraid of, or a cannot do, or I just plain hate.  (um running..I am looking at you.)

So many times on CrossFit blogs, there is talk of "there is no place for your ego"...blah blah blah. Well lemme just say, as much as I tried to just be present with where I am now, that hideous voice just took over.

"My god, you have been doing CrossFit for  how long and you still can't climb a rope?  do double unders? run faster than a turtle?"

"You'd be better off staying where it doesn't work, because at least they know where you came from."

" do that look like a jack ass."

Change is a challenge.  It challenges you ego, your beliefs about not only what you are doing but how you are doing it.  There is some quote about a rose only blooming once the pain of being a bud becomes too painful. So here I go, making another change...and I wonder if there couldn't have been a worse time for me to change my training.  I have less than a month before the International Master's Games and I have my kiddo's graduation from high school.  Shifts~changes~challenges. 

Last night, as I was watching some other folks workout, I had to fight back tears.  I don't even know why.  I missed something, a feeling of the familiar.  I also felt ridiculous for being so bad at everything, but I chose to come when it would be hard so I could see how I would handle the change.

But, I mean really....It is training...It is a about a "first world" problem. 

So, I suck...good for me...I have had a lot of suck the last couple of weeks.  Whatever.  I'll do it anyway. I am not sure there is a wrong time to change, it shows up when it shows up.  I am ready for it when I am ready I suppose. So here I go again...

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Well, that seems obvious.

I clearly have had some major problems understanding what I look like.


When I was young and did stupid things~like not eat for a week at a time, I thought I was huge. Now that I feel good...I look at pictures and I often am confused by the image I see.  I feel good, I move better than I have in like 15 years, and then I see photos of myself throwing...and I say huh?  Really?  I look like that?  Still so chubby?

See this photo (by Larry Ventress)  is a perfect example...on one hand, what I see is some strong arms, and then..holy I really that chubby?  And well, it's a photo, so the answer is ~yes, Mona, you are precisely that chubby."  But~I don't feel like that. 

So today I have made a decision,  I am going to work at embracing the big.  I am not gonna be one of those muscular ladies you see on all those CrossFit sites. I think that will never be something I attain, but what happens to me if  I stop trying to be that?  For Crap sake..perhaps that is only attainable with a level of work I am actually UNWILLING to do!  What is if I just lift big and work on the explosive movement of the throws?

What happens if I begin to see myself as I see the women I throw with....I would never even think of saying to them the ugly things I say to myself, because these women, all I see is their beauty, their power.

How about I get it in my thick head that I perhaps cannot be small and throw big?  I know there are some who can....but that's not me.

Ok, well today, I'll try. Also back to the gym for this large lady...tonight.