Thursday, November 29, 2012

New Program

Ok..I am three days into the new programming and I feel like crying.  Mainly because I promised myself I would work at being less whiny and wimpy.. and I feel anything but...grrr.  I am also coming out of an extended period of craptacular eating, so...yea...that may have something to do with it.

My scheme is a little different that the programing...all lifts this week will be 5 5 5 3 3 3. In addition, anything that can be "banded" will be. 

Back Squats 

I know they seem light...BUT about 70pounds of the weight were Kettle Bells that were banded to the ends of the bar.  I go no end of pleasure from the sensation this caused (get your mind outta the gutter).  I haven't laughed this hard in a while.  I was also taxed in a way that was completely new.  My inner and outer thighs were screaming the next were my ABS!  I know there is method to BJ's madness on this...I have stability issues when I throw...he is fixing that.

Shoulder press

3X5 65
3X3 75

Um NO Bands.

THEN we did a farmer carry/sprint workout.

Dead Lifts.
Um...these are also a weird sled thing that I stand on when I lift.  Holy get full extension...the amount of power it takes at the end of the lift is blogging my tiny little mind. laughing at these really was hard,

3x5 135
3x3 195

Then 3X15
Toes to bar (um not really for me...more like knees to elbows)
Back extensions

And then there was a WOD
3 Power Cleans
3 pull ups
6 push ups
9 jump touch things

9 minute AMRAP

I got 4 rounds...HA!

Yesterday was a rest day...well, recovery workout day:
3x5 Pullups (weighted~but not for me) I seem to be struggling YET AGAIN on the freaking red band. sigh...
3X15 RDL
3x15 Roll outs...I hate these, they always hurt my lower back so I freaking cheated...I only did 10 per set.

Then I did grip work and Hammer winds...The hammer winds freaked some people to be nicer to the lovely folks at Zia...I'll do them outside next time.

I am feeling really taxed by this already and I don't know why....I think I am feeling overwhelmed by the goals I have set for myself; which by the way are still vague since I haven't written them down....and very doubtful of my ability to follow through with the training.  I guess the only thing I can do at this point is to show up and hope this feeling goes away...gets washed away by sweat...rather than tears. I feel like I need a "good angel" to sit on my shoulder to remind me to go to the gym, to eat better, to stop being so mean to myself.

I am just feeling chubby and cranky and it leaves me unmotivated.  I still haven't looked at goals for next year...I can't seem to bear to look at the numbers and the accompanying work it will take to get there.

Oh well...

Today will be more dangling squats and banded bench I am guessing I will at least be laughing over the lunch hour!

Monday, November 26, 2012

Run heavy athlete, run....

I am guessing that most people who read this little blog of mine connect to me through you already know about my Thanksgiving Day athletic silliness....but yes I ran a 5k.  Well, saying I ran a 5k is actually misleading...I jogged, walked, jogged, walked. 

Not sure which I did more, but I did it. 

When the race started, Ben stuck with me for a while, until he just couldn't go that slow any more... It was sweet really, he doesn't like to run either and was also bemoaning having signed up..I was nervous after we started because my knee...the one I injured in September...was 'clicking' with every step. After a bit, one of the ladies from Zia found me...Erin...she was jogging near me for a bit and I joked with her that I might jog one song length then walk one song length...of course hoping Stairway to Heaven would come on during one of the walking sections.  I actually "ran" for 3 songs, plus half of another before I said to her...thanks for running with me, but I need to walk now.  Erin stuck with me for the walking...and the next running song...and the next...

She actually stuck with me the entire course.

I told her not to, but she told me that her first race, someone stayed with her....and she wanted to. We chatted about why people run, why she started to run, we talked about the habit of being so nice that we disappear and forget who we are, we also talked about finding strength and power....and we laughed a bit too. 

I also told her why I decided to do this race and what my goals were for that day. I have this joke about myself...this piece of knowledge that I pick up somewhere around middle school that, "I can't run." Now some of this turned out to be from undiagnosed asthma, the rest; became a badge. I told Erin, "I don't want to run with 'that face' today, you know the misery face."  I am tired of telling the same old story about myself....I will run what I can and just try to enjoy moving.

Well, I enjoyed my time with Erin, I can say that for certain..and I liked that final nasty hill...but I won't ever 'be a runner,' I don't really like it.  As for the runner's high I hear about...I get that when I lift heavy things off the floor.  Really....I bet it is the same thing.  I get a bit of running in my CrossFit workout, and that is good enough for me.

The question, post race, became, "would I do this again?" hmmmm, maybe, only if I was not training for something else and only to see if I could actually jog the entire time or even perhaps if there is mud and obstacles (and beer) involved. Is there some new burning desire to run? No...but can I see a way that I can stop saying "I hate running," sure. 

The funniest thing to me are runners themselves.  I cannot tell you how many people I encountered post race that were so happy I was running, so excited because this was obviously the first race of a lifetime of races, so happy, it seemed to me...that I had finally'real' exercise.


While I have no desire to "be a runner" I respect those who choose that path... I am amazed by the stamina and the beauty of some runners. I just wish they respected that, just like many many things in life, there are many paths....I am healthy...I am athletic...even though I am not a runner. is possible!

It kinda reminded me of a freshly sober drinker...

Oh well, we all love what we love and want to share it with people we care about.

And for the record, I finished in just over 45 minutes...with a smile on my face.

Friday, November 16, 2012

A repost for Friday

I had something else to yammer on about, but I have not been able to get this article out of my head. 

Not surprising, this is hard for me to read.  I cried.

Love to my little girl....

I am Beautiful

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

updated goo

Best news from the teaching front?  Wendy, the "real" teacher told me there were no complaints from either students or parents!  Yippie! 

Have had 2 Crossfit workouts this week and I am having trouble both lifting my arms and getting up from a chair.  Tuesdays workout made me class..."who does this...I hate crossfit."  I don't really mean it....I just felt it right there in that moment.


Complete 5 rounds:

11 One DB Snatch 35
12 One DB Thruster 35
11 Pull Ups w/ the DB 35...No weights for me on this....The pull ups were the hardest part of the workout.  I love Dumb bell Snatches....they make me happy happy, and I bet they are good for throwing.


Clean & Jerk @ 70-80% of 1RM
Every 30 sec for 15 minutes

Then 3X15 Romanian Dead lifts
         3X15 Weighted Sit ups

I used 115...Now I have done this sort of workout with one lift at the top of each minute...but NOT every 30 seconds. about 6 minutes, I told Sarah...I was DONE...there was no way in hell I could finish this.  At about 9:30...I thought...OK, finish it.

Honestly...I was a HUGE baby about the workout. Oh well. 

I also spoke with BJ about what comes next.....ZIA is offering a strength training program starting after Thanksgiving.  Similar, but not exact to the program I recently finished.  It will have a "power WOD" it isn't just lifting.  BJ said that the goals for this particular program are Strength...Power...Speed, just what I need for throwing. But I wasn't sure about it for me.. he and I had a great conversation...I am beginning to understand the process of long term training~piece by piece thanks to BJ.  I will do this 12 week program as well....with some significant changes to it to prepare me for the games in May. 

I am excited for the other folks in the gym who are willing to give it a try...Happy too that I won't be lifting alone! 

I am hoping to stay more positive this time...less whining...more lifting....less ego...more flexibility...
This programming takes us to mid February...Just in time for me to kick up the throwing...BJ also suggested that, at that point...we shift to Olympic lifts....speed....speed...speed.

I have an updated list of games I am looking at...with dates!  I still owe myself that crazy list of goals for next year.  Thinking I need to examine how far I came this year before I set goals for next...maybe not...maybe I just put those crazy numbers out there as a matter what I  did last year...I already know my main goal and it has absolutely nothing to do with numbers....consistency...I don't mind having a bad day, but I do mind when my form completely falls apart for no reason.  I realize that much of this will come with time...simply putting in the number of throws, the hours at the trig, the time in the boots! I am still a novice...gotta put in the time to get consistent.

Monday, November 12, 2012

fearful, saying yes anyway

Craptacular weekend....many many reasons.

ALL of them first world problems....but annoying  anyway.

We are living out of coolers...stupid fridge finally crapped was always a 6 years we had to have it serviced twice.  6 years?  dammit....they are supposed to last 20 years right? HA~

My neck had a terrific flare up on Saturday.

I cannot seem to eat anything decent.

~good stuff~

I plan on wrecking myself at the gym today after a week of rest....Yeah Zia!

I said yes to something... I am gonna do another weightlifting competition.

Yeah....quit your laughing...

It is a sanctioned meet, but since I am a novice...I won't have to wear the special sexy singlet.

I am not sure why I said yes...especially since my Olympic lifts have gone to crap...but I did.  When I hear that voice~often tiny~that says, "come on try," I know I need to listen....even if I did try to silence the voice with cupcakes this weekend.

It it very soon, which is great....that way I won't have time to obsess.

Last good thing?  look at this....

Zia Page

How cool is that?  geez these guys treat me better than I deserve....thanks.

Friday, November 9, 2012

gym withdrawal.

Hot damn....aside from the times that I have been sick, this is the longest stretch of time that I have not been in the gym.  Well, excluding the 42 years that I never really worked out.

Yesterday, I found myself feeling better...I even packed my workout back...threw everything in the car and almost drove to the gym.  I needed to keep my word with my body though...I just feel kinda lazy.

Pierre said I should just go some mobility. 

Maybe....maybe not.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012


The second most amazing thing that happened in Tuscon?

They originally had a full pro class, but given the fact that it is the end of the season, I guess some guys pulled out (quit the giggling) SO....they put the pros...with the OLD WOMEN!!!

Now, when there are pros, I always try to catch a glimpse as they throw...but it isn't always easy.  I was going to throw with them...lucky lucky me.

I think it really helped my first two events...Breamer & Open a good pr in open.(32 + feet)..there was this arching move that most of these guys get that I had never really noticed before.  But standing right there on the field with them...I could see I can work on it.

WFD...they both sucked...not sure side was sore, but not horrible. I just felt like all the work I had done on getting low and looking up just flew away.  

Hammer... worked with the blades....threw about 10 feet short on the heavy...then my back started to spasm....or whatever it was freaking hurt.  My friend Sara told me to stop, but I had SAS...Stubborn Athlete Syndrome.  I threw one light...about 75 feet. Tried a second...and I had to stop...I passed on my last throw.  I was....mad.....mad at the "bar fight" that brought the chair into my back, mad at my body, mad at having come into these games with any sort of expectations, mad I wasn't throwing in any sort of consistent way....mad.

I went and hid by my stuff, with an ice pack on my back and I lost it.

I know, there is no crying in the Highland games.

Chuck came over...he gave me a pep talk and then one of the other throwers who is a body worker...worked my back. The last three events were height events and spinning....I was gonna at least try. We were starting sheaf and the judge, being a decent human...came over to  the massage area to see where I was gonna come in.  I cried on the table too.  Big Dummy. For sheaf, they had removed us from the pros....but I was so happy to have been with them for the other events. I was able to come in and clear hurt...but I thought I would try one more throw to beat my score from last year...20 feet...didn't get it...I had the height...ha!

Then we moved to caber...I had a feeling that this might be ok.  I actually threw a 12 on the first turn.  Second turn, I popped the caber a bit too hard and almost lost it, but I gained control and to my shock got a 12 again....the judge said he never does that so I gave him a big old kiss on the cheek...he was really really playing the crowd at this point which was hysterical.  My last throw...he gave me a 12:01...I bust out laughing.  Michelle came up for her final throw and he is letting her know that the "door is open"...the door is open...she throws, turns it...the crowd is silent, waiting for the 12 sign and he says...12:02....  We lost it! 

I go get more ice...and head to WOB.  Throwing WOB last is hard.  I come in at 14...clear it...but I am worried about jumping 4 feet so we go to 17...I clear it.  I feel like I am finally getting the patience thing with the weight.  So, now pr is 18'6" someone suggests 18'7"...and I say, I have maybe 1 or 2 throws in me I am fried, my back is telling me to quit.  Up to 19 we go....I miss the first 2 throws...grrrr.. one of them was high...just not OVER the freakin' bar. Summer, a fabulous thrower who just happened to come hang out for the final few events, told me I just needed to follow through.  A good pull...I made it.

19 feet.  I really did not think that was possible. Especially as the final event, especially with my back hurting...

My back still hurts and there are other thoughts that I am struggling with about throwing...why I to to to be serious without being an asshole....I know it is all for fun...but there is more to it than that.  A couple of times, people said to me, "Well, you are still winning, right?"  It is hard to explain...but I don't really care... (too much~it does feel good) about the "winning."  I want to I want consistency...I want when I am not getting these, I am not enjoying myself.

It is similar to how I look at my acting life...what makes it "fun" is the quality of the work I am doing...the joy~the ecstasy, come from leaving it all on the stage, giving everything to the work.  Same thing for throwing....I am just figuring this out. I may have to leave the "shenanigans" out on the field. 

I am not "sore" but I am tired...worn out. I think I need the rest of the week off.  I need to avoid the SAS...and rest.  Pierre thinks my cells are tired...funny man.

Monday, November 5, 2012

veiled jokes

Rough games for me this weekend...I knew there was gonna be trouble when I got hurt in the Albuquerque Airport before our flight even left. I was attacked in the Airport bar by a wayward chair....nailed me in that tender spot between my ribs and my hip...let's just say, spinning and twisting were not my friends. Perhaps, I had expectations that were way to lofty and it was a way to remind me that there are just some things I cannot control.

I am not up to writing about the games right now...but there was a moment, hanging out with some of the athletes, when I made a joke, that I was fragile...of course there was great laughter at that one...and for just a moment I enjoyed the joke...

But, I meant it.

I had no business bringing it up in that moment in time, or with the athletes. In that way that we some times can, I suppose I made a joke of it just so that I could hear the laughter, the dismissal of the idea...the nagging doubts and pain that have crept back in. I hate that I did that...feel like, I don't know, I used people to try and feel better in that moment...


But right now...I do feel skin feels tissue paper thin, my bones brittle, and my heart filled with glass.

Yeah...sorry...what a happy little post games blog huh?

I'll get over myself soon enough...I'll probably go squat some heavy weight and feel better...

Thursday, November 1, 2012

weekend Goals

Final games of the season....

hmmm....goals?  I always try to go in with some goals....

1. Eat sushi

2. Stay cool (it's supposed to be in the eighties!)

3. Keep the knee healthy.

4. Don't make an ass of myself.

5. Get in a hot tub.

6. Have a birthday party.

7. Try not to fall down to much.

8. Come home safely.

9. Don't make an ass of myself.

10.  Oh right....Throwing!!  I am not too sure how my body will feel by Saturday...I am tired and kinda maxed out. I am hoping that the lifting will transfer into my throwing, but I am kinda thinking it won't since I have not really been doing any throwing drills.

I am gonna throw my blades back on for the hammer.  I have not been using them in games...too many dust based fields! I really do want to learn how to use them.

Ok..I don't have stone goals...the stones are too random in weight...I would say...I wanna be consistent and not fall down.  Same for caber...Be nice not to break a collar bone.
Sheaf                  20-23
Heavy Hammer  60+
Light Hammer    70+
HWD                  44~46
LWD                   60+
WOB                   19(21) or 16'6" (28)

11. Laugh

12. Dance

13. Enjoy my physical self.

14. Be grateful for this entire season of throwing. (HA! I have a 'season')

15 Don't make an ass of myself....oh never mind...gonna make an ass of myself, no one I will with this weekend even cares if I make an ass of myself....