I am fascinated by the concept of "taking the highroad." I have always equated it with the idea of how you deal with a bully...that you walk away, that you don't give them any more buttons to push and thusly they get bored with you.
I get it. It sorta works......until.
Yea...until people take advantage.
I am especially blown away by people in my life that I have known who are; how shall I say this, come from a more "socially conservative" point of view than myself.
There seems to be this expectation that because I am a member of the alphabet mafia and an alphabet mafia ally that I am "tolerant"...and that I am supposed to be tolerant of someone else's bigoted point of view...because I am what they have decided is tolerant (which implies they KNOW they are intolerant).
I'm not really.
I try to be inclusive...but even then....I am not a resort...I am not all inclusive.
Here is a nifty little story about a punk bartender....and why he kicks someone out of his bar. I could recount it for you, but here is a link:
As some of you know, I had to deal with some of this white supremacist shit a while back in our little throwing community. And well, we got push back....
"Who were we to decide what the person believed in their heart" line....We even had someone equate us to Nazi by shooting us the poem "First they Came" by Martin Niemöller.
Yeah...fun....
I have had to come face to with the person who stood up for this bigoted behavior again...I watched as my ever patient spouse and this person chatted and I heard him apologize....my spouse...for what? I am still unsure....I asked him later...did this person apologize to you for calling us Nazi?
And what do you think the answer is?
I just can't anymore.
Perhaps it is age, perhaps my hubby is intimidating and that's why nothing was said...but why do I always have to apologize? And why am I coming up with excuses for this even as I type this!! Why do I have to tolerate hate or bigotry? Why do you get to just move on and pretend your words have no impact...or that it's a joke....or that I don't get sarcasm?
Sadly it reminds me of years of gaslighting that I dealt with...I was told once, that I had to deal with the "bad" behavior because more was expected of me, because "I could handle it."
I am all for moving on...it is all we have.
But I have the freedom to associate with whom I want.
I am all for seeing something I didn't see before...for learning and changing and doing better....but am I always the one who has to accept and learn and try to do better?
Oh well....I don't know what to say or even think anymore.
I'll just go throw a little bit on my torn ass Achilles and hope and work for something better. At least in my own tiny circle.
