Gotta Ask

One of Grant's favorite things to remind me is that if I don't ask then I can guarantee the answer is no. I know I have written about this, but I spent a large portion of my life knowing there would be trouble if I asked....

So...yea....I assume a ton of 'No' in my life.

Well, I'm working on it....

So, this project with Rod...I have been asking for things....but last week...

Ok so theater space in Santa Fe is at a premium, as is rehearsal space.  So far Rod and I have been working at his partner Ellie's house....which has been AMAZING...but, we need something a little different.

So, on a whim, I decided to ask some old theater colleagues.  And, well...

WE HAVE A REHEARSAL SPACE!

So you may want to turn and run the other way when you see me coming, cause imma keep askin'. 

Blurgh.....

Dang it, it has been like 20 days....

Yea, I'm still working out.  I have to take a break this week for some tests.

What else am I doing?

Dunno, work and shit?

I am slowly moving forward with the writing project I mentioned a long while ago....been sticking with rehearsals with Rod.  Some challenging stuff there.  It's a way of working I haven't been a part of in a long time.  Makes me remember that love of story and collaboration that made me love theater in the first place.

I was planning on writing some big blog outlining these three months with my new trainer....but now we are almost at the 4 month mark...oooops.

I have already said....it's different.

I have noticed a few things recently though that I need to fix.  Notice I didn't say it was James...It's me.  I am not warming up like I should.  Some days I feel like I am pinned in time wise and I just use the light lifts as my warm up....

Not a good plan Malec....not a plan at all....

I am working on going for weights that make me uncomfortable.  So this week he had me doing some seated cable rows, well, I do them every week. Usually 4 sets of 10  or 3 sets of 15. I usually bust them out between 70-100 pounds.  Monday was a single set of 10.  I was tired and not feeling well, but I just kept adding 10 pound.  I got that up to 140.

Now, I know I could not do 4 sets at 140....but now that number gives me a goal.  As in, I can't do 4 sets of 10 at 140...yet.  Since I can do a single set at that weight, I should be able to get to multiple sets soon.

Been happy with some growth on Bench and deads too. Not sure about my back squat....but oh well.

I'll probably never be a real power lifter, so it's ok if these numbers don't always keep going up.

The goal now is for this summer....see if I can translate it into my throwing.

I have some other important things to focus on for the spring...health stuff mainly.  But I have a good feeling about that too...It is gonna be great to take a break from the treadmill Grant and I have been on for a while.  I mean, I am gonna miss my Games Family...but we will be back so fast, it'll be like we never left.

Gotta run...I have rehearsal again today with Rod....squeeee...can't wait.

Cheerleader

The last 2 weeks have been tough in the gym.

Last week was 6 sets of 3 at 85% of my 3 rep max...dead bench and squat.

This week was 4 sets of 3 at 90% of my three rep max...dead bench and squat.

That was 295 and 310 on deads, 115 and 120 on bench, and 255 and 270 on back squat.

I know the bench numbers are well.....Mona bench numbers, but I was happy with it, well; "Mona happy"...haha...you know, I feel weak and old and lame happy.  I know I shouldn't do that to myself, but honestly at 51...I don't see it changing much anymore.  I do, however, no longer berate myself for what I "used to" throw or lift.

I may wish I was stronger, but for the work I put in; for my minor physical limitations; for what I can do; I am doing it; and well....I am strong.

Anyhoooooo....

One of the things I am working on, as you know, is working out alone.

I hate it.

I miss my Praxis folks...honestly...I got used to having a set of eyes on me.  That's just not the case anymore and it's an adjustment.  I found myself last Monday during the last 2 sets of deads, wishing I had someone there to make me finish.  It would be so easy to not do the last 2 sets...they hurt, I felt shitty, I was slow, I wanted done....I wanted someone to say no.  To say you can do this, to say I believe you are stronger than you think, to remind me to fix my shoulders, to remind me to breathe right, to say yes when I say no.

Honestly, I almost walked away on set 5...whining strongly in my head. Missing what is gone.  Being a big fat lonely baby.

Then I listened to what I was wishing for...I asked myself "why are you doing these deads Mona,"  To have a better WOB and Sheaf....Then remember that....

I told myself to drive my feet into the platform....to correct my hips, to breathe correctly, to fix my shoulders....to say yes to myself instead of no.

I got them done and no one saw it.

I got them done just for me.

And you know what, I lived.  Breathing like a fat kid chasing a piece of cake, but breathing.  The following week...this week, was much easier.  That longing for a group, for eyes had faded and I just did the stupid lifts.

I tried to video....and that was a mess, my stand has lost its strength so during the lift it slowly recorded the ceiling...ha!

I have to take a bit of a break from throwing to deal with a minor medical issue, but I am gonna lift until my body tells me I can't.  I will be back. Hopefully it's a short break, but just like a gym closing, there are things your body does that you have no control over.

So, I will just breathe and remind myself that it IS ok to just do this for me.  And I'll drive my feet into the ground for support.