Believe them...when you should.

And this is one of those times.

I remember a lesson I learned way back in 2005....when someone compliments you. Take it.  When you say to that person, "oh no I'm not..blah blah, blah....you are actually telling them that they are liars."

Thanks Eric!

So, why do I bring this up you ask?  I go an invite to a game last week.  When it came in, all I could think was...well, I'm not up for that. I am not good enough. I am not on that level. I can't. I can't I can't. Waaaa  Waaaa Waaa.....

I have been in this position before...women's worlds in Phoenix....and yes, I got my ass handed to me, but who the heck cares....I got invited. The AD said to me, no you earned this.

So why when this particular invite came in; why did I go straight to the same voices?

Well, for one..I am older...so I forgot?  No...I am just older and I haven't thrown a 28 in like 4 years. And honestly...I know this AD well...and, sigh, I thought it was a pity invite.

Invite the local old lady.....

um....

No.

I essentially called my friend Chad  liar...

He is a stand up fucking guy, I mean have you met him?  Too bad for you if you haven't.

But seriously...if he invited me...he invited me.

Sorry Chad....  😄  I'll try not to be such a jerk again.

Will I bring up the rear? Fuck yes?  Do I care? No!

It's exciting to throw with women like this...I JUST freakin' wrote about this, and now look at me, the local little old lady getting to throw with the Women's IHGF for the caber Championship in Albuquerque.  Getting to surround myself with a bunch of AMAZING athletes....

Wheeee!!!

I am warning ya though...I may be complaining about the 28 while I am training for this, why? Because I can and I think it's funny that 7 pounds makes such a difference.

Weakest Link

So I am starting my third week of this new programing....I am still sore...

But that's not my issue at the moment.

I had a fantastic ego check yesterday at the gym.  It was super busy when I got there...lots of folks, all the dead lift platforms were taken, so I warmed up a bit and looked around.  Like really looked around.

I haven't been the friendliest of bitches since I had to accept the closing of my gym.  I do what it seemed to me "everyone" was doing at the gym.  Put my head phones on and put my head down and shut up and lift.

But.

I saw something different yesterday.

I saw lots of little groups..people moving from platform to the rack to check in or spot or slap someone playfully.  I saw people laying on the fake grass and stretching together.  I saw a trainer tease a guy for nearly knocking him down with a sled...

I saw a community.

I'm not part of it, but it is there.

The other thing I saw, really saw the last few times at the gym?  Ha...I saw me.

See, the 2 gyms I have "belonged" to since 2010, I had grown accustomed to being the joker, the slow one, the older one, but the strong one as well.  I think I liked that little badge I wore.

Lemme tell ya....

At Iron Soul?  I'm the weak one, the inexperienced, the newbie....

Ahhhhh, I have lost that little piece I carried...The "I'm not cute, or fast or agile, but I'm the 'strong woman lifting in the corner' at the gym."  A nifty little label I made for myself.

And it's good. Good to shed that shit. Good to be the weak one.

It's a damn good thing to lose that label.  I look at the women at this gym and I am excited to be around so many who are so skilled, so much stronger than I. When I was an actor (like 100 years ago) and when I am on the field...I want to be surrounded by people who are better, more skilled, more experienced....selfishly?  yes...that's how I get better.  But it also strips me down of labels I place on myself that are useless, ego driven, that keep me stuck.

I'm not needing to compete with anyone; I don't need to be the strongest, it isn't about that...but I see all these women and I think....be better.

Be better, for me.

first week

Well.

Week one/

No. Not some New Years thing...week one with some new programming.

Ultimately, the actual moves were not very different.  I mean, there were a few things that I haven't really done before. Some basic things, like lat pull downs and seated chest row things.  Like I said, basic, but coming from the two gyms I came from; not a surprise. 

This week as easier in terms of planning as I had Monday and Tuesday off.  I am still not sure when I am going to workout in a regular way. This week I left work in Santa Fe and drove straight to the gym in Albuquerque.  That may work, not all the time....but I will try it for a while.  I know there will be times; auditions, late appointments, appointments for Emery that will keep me from it.  But, James had asked me how often I thought I needed to workout.

I know that my body deals with 4 days of lifting....So that's what he gave me..this also means, that if I miss a day, I have flexibility to make it up.

As I think about trying to get to the gym, in Albuquerque from Rio Rancho, the drive to Santa Fe for work early in the morning...I just get...ehhhhhh....

So...

Here I go.  When I opened that program, I thought, well this isn't very much, it won't take that long.  But the work, working up to the working set...that takes a lot of time.  And...well, I am old..I rest in between...

The odd thing about the first week for me was that the workouts were not all that different from what I was doing, I mean you know...squat, bench, dead, overhead something or another.  Then accessory work.  But...there is a different way of approaching these workouts.  I have been using super sets...James sent me a video outlining how he wanted me to do the accessory work.  They are not to be done in super sets,  I am to do sets until I get to a point when I might not finish the set and THAT will be my working set.  That I need to push these to possible failure.

Hmmm.

That changes things.  I am used to holding back, to gauging what I need to do to get to the next move. It was very interesting to push everything to the edge of my capabilities.  I mean, I believe there is a place for the super set..but this has been enlightening.  Interesting to learn about myself. 

How much do I hold back for the "maybe" for the "I might need this later."

I am super sore...and looking forward to next week.