CRAP!

Yet another oooops.

It's been a while, there are less than 2 weeks now until Pleasanton. I've been making the time to throw in the evening, but it's been raining, so...yea... Chad worked with me a bit on WFD on Sunday...Pushing vs. pulling.  It's pretty cool that I could actually feel it.  I'm not gonna have that dialed in, but I got something new to work on.

I mean, I am not gonna suddenly stop working on stuff after Labor Day.

I am looking forward to the other pieces of the trip too...Extra time in San Fran, Kerry, Matt...

And this kid:

 I saw this and it reminded me of the last time I was in Pleasanton. I had had heart surgery like 3 months before and really was pushing it.  I took third and I was freakin giddy. I am letting go of "I was good once" of "what's that record" of "no one will like me if I don't crush it." (whatever THAT means)...Imma be a happy kid...and enjoy the fact that I am there and that I can still move (thanks Crow)

This year...I am gonna be giddy stepping back on that field.

Oh, how close am I to that 100? no closer, but that's ok too.  I have yo-yo'd so much in the last 10 years....It is always frustrating to see it go up, especially when I was lifting super heavy. I mean, I get it, sometimes that extra weight helps, but I often tell myself it has more influence than it really has...Oh well, it is all a roller coaster.  Isn't it?

I have been a litle remiss in my thank you's too....I was finding it impossible not to name practically everyone I have met at the gym and on the field...ha.  There is some truth in that.  But I wanted to thank my friend Lisa Bradley for keeping me in these games too.  She kept me going before I even found the games.  She's the person who introduced me to Paul the magic man....when I was low...and in constant pain.  Then I roped her into games too...

Lisa gave a name to my condition: Adult Onset Athlete.

She gave me more courage than I can really define...And I am hoping she finds some Highland Athletes in Ohio to play with soon....

Sorry for the shorty, but I've been working on another project and my fingers and brain are tired. 

Uh oh 3 and 100

I think I have blogger block.

I had committed to tracking my work once I knew I got into P-Town....but I haven't really written since my migraine weekend....


ahhhh.

Um  Ok...

I went to the gym.

and I am at 101.7

I won't make that 100, but that wasn't my main focus anyway...I did throw Tuesday...but dang, the backyard is on such a steep slope that I can't do a two turn on WFD....Grant says it's all in my head, but I don't think so....so there.

 I only had two more practices til Pleasanton, and since we have all the equipment...I am doing something super selfish this week.  We are bringing cabers again and going up, but I am going to bring the stones,weights, and hammers that I need.  Get some video done and just work in the corner of the park all by myself.

This new programing is great...It sucks, but it is great.  It is all these 5 minute do as many as you can and move on things...then he usually makes me finish with some sprinting nonsense. Today was 7 sets of 100 meter rows.

I got one under 20 seconds!  19.6. I was pretty gassed after that.

I am really grateful to have BJ writing my programing.  I know there are all sorts of guides and internet whoo ha out there, but I trust him.  Started the first day we met....at a weightlifting meet.  I was not lifting; a friend, Pattie Ravenheart was competing that day.  I was sitting behind a group from Zia Crossfit (GO ZIA) which was his gym at the time. We chatted a bit and then he asked me for my email so he could send me something...a magazine.  It was about training for the highland games. 

Took me like 5 months to join his gym, but from the beginning he has done research about throwing and throwers and I know he is in large part the reason I did so well in Scotland in 2014.  I keep coming back and he keeps putting up with me, even during these last few years when my focus has not been at the gym or for my sport.

I always write that he's gonna kick me out, but I hope he doesn't.....He joked with me once that he can't get rid of me because no matter what ridiculous thing he puts in my programming- I will try it.

I am super grateful for this guy.  For the work he does for me...for all the people he coaches...and for being one of the people who keeps me coming back to the gym and back to the field. Gotta get a Praxis team together again for Aztec....

Thanks BJ, you really are a gem.

I miss the days when I really felt a part of the gym, I don't really anymore...I just come at noon and because I don't live up here, I don't join in the things that make us feel like a family.  I am like the dorky 3rd cousin that shows up at the reunion.  But that's how things work sometimes. 

Shit, I feel like that about a few things right now...Highland games included....like I have forgotten how to keep myself as part of the group instead of being the crabby old complaining lady who shows up with equipment and complains that she used to be a good thrower...Shit, I don't wanna be around a person like that either!

And don't get me started on my artistic life....I'll just start crying.

But it's ok....really.  I am not depressed or anything, I am in flux.  Like a flux Capacitor or something.  Maybe that's why BJ has me doing sprints, so I can get my ass up to 88 miles an hour....
 
 

migraines and, well, not much work.

I get migraines once in a while. Every couple of months or so.  I had never had one at a game until Aztec last year...I stubbornly tried to keep throwing, but it eventually brought me to my knees.  Well, I got one Friday, luckily it hit just as I got home from work.  Straight to bed for me.  As you can imagine, I didn't get shit done Friday, well maybe a load of laundry once the nasty part of the migraine had passed.  Saturday, I was a little slow, I always am post migraine...I call it a hangover.  I can't bend down or move very fast and light generally bothers me. Sooooooo, Sunday, I get up, feeling pretty good.  There is a longish list of stuff around the house to do and of course practice.

We wrap up practice ( I mostly worked hammers) and get gas...and I get that damn light halo thing... another migraine.

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

Really?

So, what I am gonna start getting these bastards more often? Of course that is where my thoughts go.  I left practice pretty ok for a change, knowing some of the work I'd been doing in the yard was translating into throws. 

Of course I let that tank my mood and I went to bed.  At first I thought it was going to be minor, like a shadow of Friday's migraine....but it was actually worse...

Frustrating. 

So now I'm trying not to freak out. 

For those of you that know me...you can imagine my list, right?

What if I can't train anymore and I have been on a good track.
What if I get a migraine on the plane.
What if I get a migraine at the game.
What if I start getting these like twice a week.

Oh well.

I can just look at this like it was a forced rest...I don't always have to get everything done that is on my freakin' list.



Last week I had a little trouble with the additional throwing days....rain kept moving in....I had some funny days in the gym too. 

One of them involved 500 step ups.

I won't do that again...took me forever...then BJ comes over and says that the stuff listed in Tuesday and Thursday is like a buffet...choose what you want. Oh....alright then....

500 step ups....😆

I will be trying to get to the gym today, but I am a little worried about my head.  It still hurts a little....

OH and I have to move the workouts around a little...MWF are required and I am taking Emery to Phoenix on Friday...quick one...he has a concert to go to Friday nite...back home Saturday. 

Yeah, I know, I am nuts...but I wanna enjoy this time with him too.  He will be off and on his own soon enough. 

magic....and work.

I think there are places that hold some magic...I am sure we could all list places, the big places everyone lists.  One of my magic places is Flagstaff.

Yeah Flagstaff Arizona. 

Just hush with the eye rolling please. 

I mentioned a few weeks ago, before Flag, that 5 years ago something big shifted for me when I was there.  I Haven't every really talked about it publicly because...well, it caused a lot of pain as well.  And well, people are judgey....I know I can be too.  To make a long complex story super vague, It was 5 years ago in Flag that I felt something snap and I knew I needed to gather some freaking courage and tell my husband at the time that we were done.  I mean, we both knew it for years, but there we stayed. I had fallen in love with Grant; it was when I got home from that weekend in Flag that I finally said the words.  It has been a long, terrible process unfortunately, but that's just the way it went.

Well, a few weeks ago, in Flag, I felt something crack open, shift, move, change again.  Something lifted dear reader...right off my heart.  I don't what it was, forgiveness of myself; perhaps, a deeper understanding of letting go.  Whatever it was, I no longer felt this underlying sense of responsibility for how other people behave or react.  That is kinda huge for me. 

It was tested in a big way on Tuesday of this week.  I went to the Pharmacy and discovered that the kids insurance was no longer there. I texted the ex to see if there was an issue...he hadn't paid for it this quarter. Now, I am not going to say I wasn't mad...I was, but I didn't "go off" on him.  I told him he should have contacted me so that I didn't find out more than a month after it was cancelled. But that was it.  I, of course, went into "fix this" mode, but really....I have been expecting this for a very very long time and you know what? 

I knew it wasn't my problem either.

It is no longer my job to get him or anyone else for that matter to understand what *I* think they should be responsible for... (or the court thinks they should be responsible for).  He is who he is and my guess is he is doing his best; and shit, I am who I am and I am just trying my best too.  This is, as they say, what it is.  How it always was really and that is ok. 

I was no longer fighting, trying to get him to hear me or see me or understand...anything... 

That, I think, is what let go in Flag a few weeks ago.

Ok....I know. enough with the woo-woo.


Yeah Flag, but what did you do to prep for Pleasanton Mona??

Well, yesterday, I skipped the gym...but once it cooled off a bit I tried to throw in my yard...I got out a little late and there were some complications so I didn't actually throw.  But I did do hammer winds.  Discovered something interesting..... I had unknowingly changed my set up.  I have been setting up for my throw by looking down at the head of the hammer, never a good thing.  So, I worked on that little piece. 

Then lots of PT work and sleep...

Today I had another weird workout...all these 5 minute AMRAP things...Presses, push presses, jerks, KB swings, snatches, goblet squats....oooooffffff.  Then I had to finish with a 1000 meter row....ugh.  Well, I could have chosen the 800 meter run, but....no.

My goal for this weekend's practice is to actually film some of my throws.  I am terrible about that.  I bring the phone holder thinggy and never set it up.

It's the little things, isn't it?

Wrap up and work

Well, Well Mona, what have you done?  We are 4 weeks out and what have  you done?

Oh, back off I had a game this weekend, spent like 14 hours in the car too...

And....how did you eat??  How did you throw? 

Whatever, stop policing my food you nosey Barker....102.2 by the way, but it's a fair bit to still try to lose while I am also training so..whatever.   And the game?  Well, it moved back to the Denver area which was great.  We saw lots of old friends, which is even better...there were 2 brand new throwers in the Masters group...awesome...and there was this pretty awesome thrower, Amy, who I just fell in love with.  She broke her PELVIS last year....and is back throwing. Yes, her freakin' pelvis...I am really looking forward to throwing with her and Rebecca again...we may have bugged them enough about Aztec. Russ Murphy was there to open the game.  He threw out the first stone.  This game was jam packed with history.  Greg Bradshaw was there, of course, but a whole bunch of his family was too...great grand kids even.  And his brother was going to throw on Sunday for the first time in 30 years....how awesome is that?  I got to harass Coach and tease the shit out of Edie...and watch CJ get a world record in Sheaf. So really...freakin' great stuff.

Yes, but how did you throw?

I don't wanna talk about it.



Seriously,  something is broken, WFD...I haven't thrown that short in years....like since my first 2 years....hammer too.  Sheaf was ok...but I had been getting some great drive and that's gone too....and WOB...shhhhhhh...I just can't.

But stone felt ok...Funny, I know.  Open was herky jerky....but the pieces I have been trying to fix were much better. 

My favorite thing this game was caber.  We had 3...first one was super light and only 11 feet.  Which is super cool, 'cause like I said we had lots of new folks.  I told a couple of the more experienced throwers to cool it...I was first up....so they took it easy with the pick.  The next caber was light but like 16 feet.  Dang you gotta pull hard to turn those.  Then the last one was more like 57 pounds and a little over 16 feet....again...hard pull.  That was a new caber too.  and well, a little raw.  I turned the thing and Edie and CJ came up to me and high fived me and all I could say is, "could you get that sliver out of my neck?"  Edie ended up with one in her neck too.  It just needed a little more TLC.

My frustrations started to get the best of me, just like in Flag,  I hate when I am such an asshole.  Grant does his best to cool my jets, but I just don't get it.  I mean I do....I get the time and energy thing....but in the moment of my terrible throwing, the wonky arms and tangled feet, I forget what I know on an intellectual level and just got straight to "what the Hell, why do you suck." 

See, I already know the "whys,"  so please don't think I am being negative about myself here.  I know, I am where I am, and that's just the truth...and it's fine.  I am still out there and I am still working on improving on today. Further, I know that I am throwing my best right now, for where I am in my life. I can't want for more than that.

Ok...hit the gym today and it was what BJ called conditioning....

 Kidding....lots of 5 minute super sets and ending with this insane 10 minutes of 7 second sprints on the rower...

I am sore as hell...from last week, from the game, from today, and from getting pt AND a massage on Thursday before we left.  I won't make that mistake again.

I wanna send out a little thank you to this woman here.

 Again, I cannot remember when we met, what game.  But I do remember being super duper intimidated by you.  She seemed so...fierce.  All this bad ass, don't fuck with me sorta attitude....not sure when she let me in a little...but then I got to see that smile. 

This is yet another women in this sport that has helped me in so many ways...yes in clinics, but in much more intangible ways as well.  I stalk her pretty frequently...y'all know she is an athlete for the Grrrl clothing brand...and if you know the brand, you know why.  I have never ever seen her be anything but supportive of other athletes.  I adore watching her lifting videos and all that crazy strongman stuff she does.  And well, I am pretty sure that Heather and Andy kept me from punching out a security guard at my wedding...True story. 

One of the things that I can do with her that I don't feel comfortable doing with anyone else is celebrating a throw.  I have literally crossed the field to find her to share something that goes right... and I can do that because of her genuine support of all of the people out there on the field. 

And because her success bolsters me and I can see that mine does the same.

Thanks for being you and for keeping me coming back.

More tests

Road trippin to Pleasanton...and Colorado this weekend.

The Colorado Scottish Festival is back in Denver this weekend...yippie.  I am predicting a rough game as I am sore as shit today.

TESTS.

Tuesday:
3 rep on back squat  235
"Agility Drill" 6.5 seconds
40 yard "dash"  7.78 seconds

Sooooo humbling, I realize I am not training my squat right now, but dang.  A little more than 18 months ago, my three rep was like 305....popping that knee out really has me, sad.  But really?  Whatever, I already knew I wasn't as strong as I used to be.  This is where I am. Hopefully I can keep getting this knee stronger and there will be progress on this number.  Same with the running...this is me....all I want is to be a little better in 14 weeks.

Wednesday:
Hex Bar Dead 3 rep max 285
400 meter "sprint"  2:32
Airdyne 5x30second sprints 48 calories.

I had more in me for the deads...I was supposed to take 2 shots at it, I decided NOT to do a third because I had to "run"...hahahaha.  God I hate running.  Nothing gasses me more...or hurts my knees more.

Today:
Bench 3rep max 125
Kneeing Chest Pass  30 pound ball 190 inches
Reverse Toss   30 pound ball 234 inces
10min on Airdyne for calories 99

Looks like my bench is the only lift that hasn't completely fallen apart...and if you have followed me for long you'll get how funny that is.  I went for 130 and failed.  All of these numbers are like...Ok...let's see where we go from here.

Very different form my expectations when I am throwing...speaking of which, have I thrown this week? NO...every single time it was time to throw, it started to rain. Oh well....


I am tired this week and sore.  I have PT and a massage before the game Saturday, thank the 8 pound 6 ounce baby jebus.

I am actually really looking forward to retesting this stuff...all of it.  Yes the running too....

Oh, nothing to report on the 100 yet....hahahaha

Heading back to Colorado this weekend has gotten me thinking of how thankful I am that I met Mark Buchanan .  I can't really remember when we met, but I am always grateful when I am at a game with him.  He is another person in this sport that has helped me to keep coming back.  I cannot even really explain way.  There is just something about the way he treats people, athletes that makes you know you are more than just welcome, but that you need to be there...

Which brings me to someone else whom I just adore and I am endlessly grateful for.  Again, I cannot remember at which game we met, it may have been a Flagstaff game ages ago.  Beth Burton.  Dang I love love love being on the filed with her.  I love hanging out with her and Shannon.  I remember at my first Enumclaw game, she was throwing elites...I'm a noob with the Masters and she made the time to pull me aside because she saw me getting frustrated or annoyed with myself and she helped me calm down about and coach me a little on stone. (clearly I need more of her mojo with that) I can only imagine the pressure at her level, yet there she was; straightening  my ass out.  There was also a year in Pleasanton when I needed a lift from the airport....there were Beth and Shannon to save my butt....and there was a group of us that went shopping...that was the year I forgot my shorts! I just get the giggles when I see her on the field...so grateful for the example she sets and for knowing that I can reach out to her without judgement.

And she let's me sit on her lap and be a goof... I just love her.