Deadcember Wrap

Like in most things, I failed in keeping my promise to myself about the Deadcember training.  I said I would commit to myself for this one month... one month.

Ok  Ok....I missed one workout.  It was Thursday...the workout before the attempted max.  I looked at it and it literally would have been 5-10 minutes.   I made the decision that rest was probably just as good.  Otherwise.....I really did do it all... some modifications of course, but I am close, was close.

Sooooo....I am stiff and sore.  And there was so much more upper body work than I expected.

On December 1st, we didn't test a one rep, we tested a 3 rep.  I was super disappointed with that number 315.  But, well, I am not as strong as I once was, am I? For the training, I added 8% to that number to create a working max.  340 was the number I based everything in Deadcember on.

Grant came to Iron Soul with me on max day.  I was super happy to have him there. It is fun to lift with him.  I think we had both forgotten that.  We spent many months together at the gym after my heart surgery....While I feel like I really need my noon time workout, I also miss those early mornings lifting with Grant.

I digress....so did  I PR? Am I a beast? Am I so strong now I need new pants for my thighs?

No  No  No......

I loaded 305.

Then 345...I looked at that bar and knew I couldn't lift it...glad Grant was there....

Loaded 365...got it.

Tried 385...got it.....one inch off the ground.

Ha...

385 is pretty high for me, especially now,  so I probably should have loaded 375, but I will never know. 

I decided that we did an awful lot of upper body work, so I tested my  bench too...now that...I was super happy with... managed 145, which I know sucks for most people my size...but I suck at bench, and it  went up clean and smooth and I bet I had a little more in me too...

Whee....

So now I sit here, waiting to see my new programing.  Yes, I found me another coach.  I am giving distance coaching a try.  I contacted James Bullock...and he agreed to take me on....

The Forge

He trains some of the women in the sport whom I respect and admire in ways that words fail me...so I am grateful.

I am also a little nervous....I have no freaking plan yet....you know, like how and when to get to a gym....I still have a couple more days off of work.  But after that?

I guess I'll let you  know what happens.

Transitions

Usually in May, I write some sort of sappy blog about my gym, Praxis.  This up coming May would have been 6 years since I joined BJ and Will over at Zia Cross Fit, which became Praxis.  I still remember the struggle I had deciding to leave the previous gym, and the suspicious feeling I had about gyms I visited.  I was being super stubborn after feeling burned by the other gym.  I remember Mark and Kim encouraging me to give it a try.  So I did....and me being the weirdo that I am chose to go on days that were filled with workouts I hated..Just to see...to see how they treated people who are not so athletic...

Well, 6 1/2 years later..here I am.

I struggle with gyms...I really do.  When Rod roped me into trying crossfit, I found something different, not just the "constantly varied" thing, but it was the people.  I am not so good at going to a gym, putting on the headphones, and ignoring anything but my "gains."  I need people.

Certain people.

I mean, I have left a gym (or 2) because of the people as well...

What BJ and Will and later Gary, had created fit me...Wouldn't fit everyone, but it fit me.  I remember when I met BJ and Will, it was at a weightlifting meet.  I had gone to see my friend Patti compete.  Will and BJ were sitting in front of me.  I had seen them both at Crossfit comps, so we all said hi and blah blah....then BJ mentions a magazine "Milo" that he had that had interviews and training crap for Highland athletes.  He offered to send it to me.  Now, if you have read my crazy blog for a while, you know that the other gym I was going to when I started throwing, basically said, that's cute but keep doing crossfit, that should be enough.

I was frustrated and CLUELESS about how to train or even what questions to ask.

That moment at the meet stuck with me.  And even after I joined BJ, I stayed in the classes for a long time, he was checking me out too. Seeing if I was someone who could be trained.  So, in the early years, I mostly did classes, but he'd pull me out for strength training for a few months at a time.

Very different than the I hide in the corner and lift thing I do now.  Even after I moved to Rio Rancho, I tried to just do the programing remotely and well, I would fall down.  Stop doing it. Until BJ wouldn't send my workouts.  He would just say, why don't you just come in and I'll give it to you. Well...that's when the lunch time thing kicked back up.  Escape from work, from my life for a while and lift.  I needed to still feel like I was in a class to keep coming.

I have a strong desire to belong.

Well, like all things, change is coming again.

BJ and Gary have made the decision to shut down Praxis.

I get it.  For the all the stated and unstated reasons.  Running a gym is tough, especially a gym like Praxis.  It isn't about getting members to sign up and not come...That focus can only mean lower numbers of members and higher numbers of hours for those that own it.

But I am sad.

I have been there a long while and even though there are people who have moved on from the gym, it was a unique place. I have met and sweat with people I would have never met otherwise.  And when they leave and when this space leaves my life it will leave a hole.

I still miss the nooner crew, Velda, Faith, Sarah, Sheila, Erin.

I know I was the most irritating person Will probably ever had to deal with, but towards the end we both knew my goal was to make him laugh.

BJ and Praxis trained me to a World Championship and multiple world records yes, but he also focused my rehab after heart surgery. The gym was there for me when I lost everything and was completely broken after violence struck.  If it weren't for the gym and the community they created,  I never would have met Faith and Chris who opened their home to Emery and I preventing us from having to make terrible choices.

I will miss the babies of Praxis....so many of them are no longer babies.  I loved that the gym encouraged healthy pregnancy workouts and babies hanging in the gym to watch their parents.  I loved occasionally holding a Salas ginger so Patsy could finish thrusters...I have been endlessly moved by the support I received from this gym family of mine.  Coming to games, throwing at games, fundraisers for me...All the comps....It's always a blast to go cheer on Kori and Faith at a railyard game...or Boxtober.  I cannot list all the folks whom I love to see when I walk in, I know I will miss someone and feel badly.

And at Praxis, I know sometimes~some of you were happy to see me. 

Things always change...

I will start a search, I have to decide how to do things now, what I need, where I fit, and if I can do some of this on my own now.

Praxis, you were something special.  Thanks.

Protect it.

Alrighty....I am part way into the first week of this dead lift experiment. I knew there would be a lot of deadlifting, duh....dead lift program.  It is every day...ha!  Yea,  every day.  Yesterday was sets of snatch grip deads followed by the most insane grouping of upper body death I have ever done...I hurt....my chest hurts....when I left the gym...my arms were noodles.  

So, it's a weird dead lifting program, I am not surprised, turns out the guy writing it is Dan McKim...he just recently retired from Highland games competition...so...that's interesting.  And he is funny as shit.....he puts cardio in there like "walk for 8 seconds" and reps of eating little debbie cakes.  

That shit makes things tolerable to me.  No idea why, I am sorta an idiot...Programming looks to be Mon-Friday, but my old bones can't do this 5 days in a row so I am officially declaring Thursday my rest day. My goal is to do this entire thing, as written.  ALL THE DAYS.  Now I have to sub some things, like I cannot do pull ups and stop with the fancy push ups, but I am doing the subs....

I told someone today I am working on training again instead of working out.  Minor distinction to some, but not to me. I found out a long time ago that I hate working out, but I love to train...working toward something.

Then I came across this thing on Instagram:

Now.....I don't really believe anything lasts forever....not even love.  Please don't get on my case about that...I just don't.  But this struck me...I do treat things differently when I want them to "last" including people in my life.  I have tried to treat people; my kids, friends, partners...in a way so they do not feel ordinary...so they know they are special to me...

What I have left out of this is myself.

I know I won't last...ha...duh...but what if we treat ourselves like this too?  I know it sounds dumb, but this short program is my test...can I protect this time, these goals...For one month..ONE MONTH....and as I mentioned in a previous blog, can I learn what I am willing to sacrifice for those goals? Sacrifice for focused attention on myself, my health, my goals.

Gives me a little bit of the heebie jebbies to say it like that, but there it is.

I am guessing I have said this and either tried and failed or done this before, so forgive me if I am back at a place you have seen me before.  And I will try to forgive myself too.