Monday, October 27, 2014

Thursday, October 23, 2014

yoga updates

Did my third class....

learned "the fucked up chair" which was cool...

also did something called the dead chicken.....good for the hip.

and the smashed snake, which I think we did before but I hate this one and it really bugged me last night.

I was more than less focused than the two weeks of less focusing before I thought I might need some focus.....

Reading that sentence is kinda how I feel doing yoga.

I had a really really tough time with it last night....I felt bad for the teacher....or leader....or whatever they are called in yoga.  I wasn't oooooozing sarcasm last was just my supreme lack of focus.  I really am not trying to be disrespectful.....she is good...well, I think she is but what the Hell do I know.  I like it....kinda.   sigh.

I am an asshole.

If she doesn't kick me out I am gonna keep going for a while to see if I can do more than examine my mat and my toes.  Ness is an angel for putting up with me.

On a Zia Crossfit note...I complained to BJ...bitterly, that the dumb bells don't go up by 2 pound increments....


3X5 push press at 110...that's 5 pounds more than last week.
7x1  Dumb bell snatches at 55  that's 5 pounds more than last week.
3x3 single leg jumpy thinggies....
3x8 dumb bell curls at 40  that's also 5 pounds more than last week.

The curls are when I needed the 2 pound jump...but not really.... I did them all.  And the stupid curls have been the weirdest thing for me.  Never done them before this...they seem silly, but I get why I am doing them, and the oddest thing? I started the program using the yeah.  That's sorta cool.

I just wish the dumb bell curls had a cool in yoga.

Like "killer wing bend."

or  "eagle grope."

or "turtle fart."

sigh....she's gonna kick me outta that yoga class yet.

Monday, October 20, 2014

what's comin' or not....

 This weekend I went down to watch Boxtober fest....shocking for most of you to find this out, but I have actually competed at this thing once upon a time.  I think it was the first time they held it.  It was teams of 4 back then.  It was great watching all the teams from Zia compete and saying hi to people from the old gym that I use to work out with and watching some Celtic folks compete too. I must admit...I miss it.  Sorta...well no. I do. I think I would like to give another shot at a fun competition like this one.  I mean, I can't do so much of the stuff...still....but I don't focus on it.  It is great to watch and to support though...and well...I dunno.


 I think some of this is coming from feeling super burned out on throwing right now.  I met with both BJ and Will to talk a little about the program I am just finishing up and BJ reminded me that I felt the same way last November at the end of my season. Will reminded me too that feeling like I never wanna look at another hammer after all the games I did this year was a normal reaction.

I do love this place...Zia...the people obviously, not the place.

So...I did go to practice this weekend...and I actually threw, I didn't just lay in the grass and whine about throwing.  I pulled these nasty things out too....

The blades have been replaced with longer ones....but the boot is the same.  Got some coaching on my WFD turn too...I'll see...

My program ends upon my return from Tucson...and then....I go back to.....Crossfit.

Ok, get all the jokes out now....

done? off the criticisms of the "cult of Crossfit" and how much crossfitters suck.....

done? those crossfit fail videos.....

got it?


Bottom line....I am going back to CF classes for 9 weeks...then we will sit down and look at what I wanna do next year.  This program BJ had me doing was the right thing for me to do...and I only missed a few days here and there toward the end of the program.  Which for those of you who knew me before all this athletic shit came into my life, know what a change that is for me.  So I trust him...and I just wrote...I kinda miss CF right now.  I am sorta done lifting alone in the corner....I am ready to whine and complain IN class.  Um,  I mean, I am ready to go back to classes....

I know it is gonna kick my ass in a whole different way....'cause trust me this program kicked my ass...  Shit today I had 3x2 front squats and I did them at 205.

I am still trying to get my food in line.  It mostly works to have one day a week when I eat what ever.  This weekend was...well....never mind what I ate.  My goal for the off season (IF I go back) is to get back in my first kilt.  I don't own a scale so I am just going by my kilts.  I am just too....puffy...chubby?  Fat?  ...HA!

I am planning on a couple of chats with a couple of throwers to talk goals and plans and whatever else me may look at.

Tucson is next and last...two weeks.  Should be always is!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

not sure what to say....

Just a thank you.

Been thinking about how and if I should write this blog for a few days...and I get no where....I know I have written about anniversaries before and the weight they can hold. 

All I know right now, looking back a year is that I knew, without a doubt in my mind, that I could not and would not survive.

I was wrong.

I was wrong mainly because I had no idea how many people would hold me up and give me time and love and space to heal.

My sister Pat
My boss Lois
Faith & Chris
Jim & Keli
Michelle & Sarah
Grace & Chris
Beth & Shannon
Kegan & Genevieve
Will & Leann
Cindy & Cody
Mikaela & Topper
Lisa B
Lisa P
Zia Crossfit
and every single person who sent me to Scotland.
and everyone else who I forgot....because as I look at this I know I have forgotten some.

In big ways you might not even know, you all helped me not just survive but to grow.  

I have nothing but gratitude, oh and love,  lots of love.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Rest week

I know I could have/should have talked to my coachy~coaches before I did it. But I am "resting" this week.

The other times I have done this I felt itchy and anxious to get back at it, this time, not so much. Guess I picked a good time.

Those of you who know, know that this is a weird tricky time right now.  Only because...well...I guess if I let it, which I was. But whatever, dates are dates and anniversaries only hold as much power as you give them. So...I hiked on Sunday and I did yoga yesterday.

 Ness sent me that famous "Craig's list yoga mat for sale" thing last week...yeah....

Yoga Mat for sale

This class was a little different, same instructor.  I wasn't so bothered by the "not coming and fixing every last placement of every body part" thing this time.  She said something about being less rigid and doing what feels right for each person. That I can deal with. I had to keep reminding myself when we started that I was CHOOSING to be there.  I was letting myself get anxious...I was getting dizzy going from upside down to feet seemed very interesting...and well, I had to fart. Yeah, whatever. As soon as I came into the space, I had to fart. Do you know how frightening yoga can be when you feel the need to fart? Downward dog was terrifying. It was all I was thinking about.

Then I tried to just connect to my breath and I had trouble.  I am still holding my breath...a lot.  I mean not every day I don't think, but maybe...maybe, just maybe that is why I knew I wanted to try this...more for the breath crap than any stretching.

And no I am not sore...and no, I didn't fart. And yes...I will go again next week, as long as Ness doesn't wanna slap me by then.

I get to drive to Oklahoma on Friday to see my son in a show...Get to hang with Heather & Marwin...then back on Sunday.  Then I'll head back to the gym on Monday....

Gotta set some goals and I gotta...well...breathe.