I had a decent report from my doc the other day, right? So, yeah I go down to throw on Sunday and I am feeling ok. I had a really nice start to my day on Saturday that really just put me in a happy place that is difficult to describe. I know the shoulder will be fine.
So...I pick up a weight and as it comes around...I know I have made a mistake....something is wrong, the way I am coming around is just wrong. As soon as I release the weight...oh...my..
Pain...I keep throwing a little....I get some good coaching about my last turn on the WFD stuff.....I am actually slowing down. And I am not getting my chest around which makes me release waaaay too high....
Gonna see Paul Tuesday.
That's all I got really.
I am super disappointed with the way I am throwing....been working on form, but all I feel is stiff. I also feel like I have no connection to my power anymore....
Maybe it's the end of the season, maybe it's because I am chubby again, maybe it's my ridiculous life.
I already know I didn't meet very many of my goals for the year....the one revised goal after I had the heart stuff happen, was to end the year with a ranking in NASGA in the top 25....don't think that's gonna happen either. I keep watching it drop week to week....yet I keep stuffing my face and feeling sorry for myself.
ok Aztec is Saturday....goal?
siiiigh....not hurt? try not to cry?
Yeah...broken record "I'd like 16 in WOB" HWD...I dream of 40 some day.....
Highly doubt I am gonna get any of this or meet last years numbers at all.
I think....my true goals?
1. Enjoy my body and relish in the fact that it can move. It wasn't that long ago that a certain doc told me I'd be in a wheel chair soon.
2. Spend some time down by the river.....just listening to the water.
4. Enjoy this lovely highland family that doesn't really care how I throw, because they like spending time with me as much as I like spending time with them.
When I get back...BJ & Will & I have some thinking and planning to do....wheels are in motion...but I gotta find a little peace first.
Hey....have I thanked you for reading this ridiculous blog?
I really am humbled that you take the time to read my ramblings.