So, yesterday I posted a photo of myself on Facebook...lifting. I do this every once in a while even though it generally makes me uncomfortable. There are a couple of reasons I don't like to see pictures of me lifting. Not the least of which, I usually look terrible. Not just the body, but I usually have a dumb ass look on my face. I have gotten over this one more than my body issues, 'cause really, who looks good lifting? I am trying to let photos get posted and post photos of myself in part, because I am really working at changing my way of thinking.
I really do believe that strength is beautiful...well, as long as it is someone else. So~if I post a photo of me working hard...throwing, lifting, sweating, whatever....I am trying to see myself the same way...even though I often scrutinize the photo for all of my perceived flaws.
This is the one I posted yesterday:
What I frequently get in comments when I post something like this is one of the following:
"Oh man I don't wanna get you angry!"
"Yikes, I don't wanna get in your way!"
Same sorts of things I tend to say on others photos....but....yesterday...I found myself defensive about these kinds of comments.....
Why is lifting weights or strength equated with anger? I realized that lifting and throwing has helped me control my temper, my anger. A while ago I had posted this photo:
There are all these lifting sites that have t~shirts that proclaim that strong is the new pretty...or some such thing...but I don't think it is true at all.
I am really working on seeing my strength as an asset, as beautiful, through the eyes of those that also see strength as beautiful. Hell, I am not mad at the person who is "scared" of me because of that photo...I think it is, in a weird way a compliment. But for me, a woman who had never seen her beauty, to be called frightening for the one thing that makes me come close to seeing my beauty was...hmmm..challenging.