scared

I finished my 12 week linear strength building program on Friday.  Finished weak on Shoulder Presses (big shock) Finished stronger on Back squats (sets at 285 thank you)

So...now what?

Me: I have to go back to CrossFit? I don't wanna....

me: why?

Me:  I'm scared.

me: Huh? you've done crossfit before dummy.

Me: not for months and months!

me: so?

Me: It's gonna be hard.  I will be terrible at it...

me: Maybe so....but it should come back quickly, after all, you were working out.

Me: but...I am good at lifting, I have never been "good" at crossfit.

me:  I think you are letting your ego into this...you are not supposed to care how 'good' you are, just how good you feel after you workout.

Me: but...

me: I know, it feels good to be the one grunting under the weights in the corner, doesn't it...but that is not why you work out....it is NOT about only doing what you like...which is funny, 'cause you hated some of the lifting.

Me: (whispered) but who am I if I am not off squatting in the corner?

me: Just stop it, will you?  Go back to class, sweat it out, enjoy the speed and enjoy coming in last all the time....be grateful you can move.  Remember?  Grateful you can move.