Lazy ropes.

The workout yesterday included a rope climb.  I actually was a little excited since those of you who follow this blog know I climbed a rope last year.  Thrilling sort of moment for me.  It had been a while since I attempted...I thought I might have a bit of a struggle....

That's an understatement.

I could not for the life of me figure any of it out...by body just forgot.

It sort of summed up the last few weeks for me. 

Things I think I can do~I can't.

Relationships with people have shifted~been painful.

Artistic things have blown up all over the place.

I can't focus in the gym.

I can't throw WOB.

Looking at that rope...made me wanna cry.

Shit, I have been crying...a lot...the last few weeks too.  Shameful, big, sloppy cries. 

I am not writing either.


The best thing right now? 

I am loving working with the actors in Buried Child....they have made me cry too...I wish I could write about the show..but I can't yet.  Not sure why I can write about working out and throwing and Genevieve, but I just can't write about the artistic work yet...It feels...private still.

These actors?

Beautiful.

Me?

Fucking lucky...I know that. lucky all over the place...even with the hard stuff.