veiled jokes

Rough games for me this weekend...I knew there was gonna be trouble when I got hurt in the Albuquerque Airport before our flight even left. I was attacked in the Airport bar by a wayward chair....nailed me in that tender spot between my ribs and my hip...let's just say, spinning and twisting were not my friends. Perhaps, I had expectations that were way to lofty and it was a way to remind me that there are just some things I cannot control.

I am not up to writing about the games right now...but there was a moment, hanging out with some of the athletes, when I made a joke, that I was fragile...of course there was great laughter at that one...and for just a moment I enjoyed the joke...

But, I meant it.

I had no business bringing it up in that moment in time, or with the athletes. In that way that we some times can, I suppose I made a joke of it just so that I could hear the laughter, the dismissal of the idea...the nagging doubts and pain that have crept back in. I hate that I did that...feel like, I don't know, I used people to try and feel better in that moment...

Icky.

But right now...I do feel fragile...my skin feels tissue paper thin, my bones brittle, and my heart filled with glass.

Yeah...sorry...what a happy little post games blog huh?

I'll get over myself soon enough...I'll probably go squat some heavy weight and feel better...