Monday, November 5, 2012

veiled jokes

Rough games for me this weekend...I knew there was gonna be trouble when I got hurt in the Albuquerque Airport before our flight even left. I was attacked in the Airport bar by a wayward chair....nailed me in that tender spot between my ribs and my hip...let's just say, spinning and twisting were not my friends. Perhaps, I had expectations that were way to lofty and it was a way to remind me that there are just some things I cannot control.

I am not up to writing about the games right now...but there was a moment, hanging out with some of the athletes, when I made a joke, that I was fragile...of course there was great laughter at that one...and for just a moment I enjoyed the joke...

But, I meant it.

I had no business bringing it up in that moment in time, or with the athletes. In that way that we some times can, I suppose I made a joke of it just so that I could hear the laughter, the dismissal of the idea...the nagging doubts and pain that have crept back in. I hate that I did that...feel like, I don't know, I used people to try and feel better in that moment...


But right now...I do feel skin feels tissue paper thin, my bones brittle, and my heart filled with glass.

Yeah...sorry...what a happy little post games blog huh?

I'll get over myself soon enough...I'll probably go squat some heavy weight and feel better...

1 comment:

  1. You don't have to get over yourself, you just have to love yourself, just as I love you! so there.