Tucson

The second most amazing thing that happened in Tuscon?

They originally had a full pro class, but given the fact that it is the end of the season, I guess some guys pulled out (quit the giggling) SO....they put the pros...with the OLD WOMEN!!!

Now, when there are pros, I always try to catch a glimpse as they throw...but it isn't always easy.  I was going to throw with them...lucky lucky me.

I think it really helped my first two events...Breamer & Open Stone...got a good pr in open.(32 + feet)..there was this arching move that most of these guys get that I had never really noticed before.  But standing right there on the field with them...I could see it...now I can work on it.

WFD...they both sucked...not sure why...my side was sore, but not horrible. I just felt like all the work I had done on getting low and looking up just flew away.  

Hammer... worked with the blades....threw about 10 feet short on the heavy...then my back started to spasm....or whatever it was doing...it freaking hurt.  My friend Sara told me to stop, but I had SAS...Stubborn Athlete Syndrome.  I threw one light...about 75 feet. Tried a second...and I had to stop...I passed on my last throw.  I was....mad.....mad at the "bar fight" that brought the chair into my back, mad at my body, mad at having come into these games with any sort of expectations, mad I wasn't throwing in any sort of consistent way....mad.

I went and hid by my stuff, with an ice pack on my back and I lost it.

I know, there is no crying in the Highland games.

Chuck came over...he gave me a pep talk and then one of the other throwers who is a body worker...worked my back. The last three events were height events and caber...no spinning....I was gonna at least try. We were starting sheaf and the judge, being a decent human...came over to  the massage area to see where I was gonna come in.  I cried on the table too.  Big Dummy. For sheaf, they had removed us from the pros....but I was so happy to have been with them for the other events. I was able to come in and clear 16...it hurt...but I thought I would try one more throw to beat my score from last year...20 feet...didn't get it...I had the height...ha!

Then we moved to caber...I had a feeling that this might be ok.  I actually threw a 12 on the first turn.  Second turn, I popped the caber a bit too hard and almost lost it, but I gained control and to my shock got a 12 again....the judge said he never does that so I gave him a big old kiss on the cheek...he was really really playing the crowd at this point which was hysterical.  My last throw...he gave me a 12:01...I bust out laughing.  Michelle came up for her final throw and he is letting her know that the "door is open"...the door is open...she throws, turns it...the crowd is silent, waiting for the 12 sign and he says...12:02....  We lost it! 

I go get more ice...and head to WOB.  Throwing WOB last is hard.  I come in at 14...clear it...but I am worried about jumping 4 feet so we go to 17...I clear it.  I feel like I am finally getting the patience thing with the weight.  So, now what....my pr is 18'6" someone suggests 18'7"...and I say, I have maybe 1 or 2 throws in me I am fried, my back is telling me to quit.  Up to 19 we go....I miss the first 2 throws...grrrr.. one of them was high...just not OVER the freakin' bar. Summer, a fabulous thrower who just happened to come hang out for the final few events, told me I just needed to follow through.  A good pull...I made it.

19 feet.  I really did not think that was possible. Especially as the final event, especially with my back hurting...

My back still hurts and there are other thoughts that I am struggling with about throwing...why I throw...how to throw...how to prepare...how to be serious without being an asshole....I know it is all for fun...but there is more to it than that.  A couple of times, people said to me, "Well, you are still winning, right?"  It is hard to explain...but I don't really care... (too much~it does feel good) about the "winning."  I want to beat...me. I want consistency...I want speed....so when I am not getting these, I am not enjoying myself.

It is similar to how I look at my acting life...what makes it "fun" is the quality of the work I am doing...the joy~the ecstasy, come from leaving it all on the stage, giving everything to the work.  Same thing for throwing....I am just figuring this out. I may have to leave the "shenanigans" out on the field. 

I am not "sore" but I am tired...worn out. I think I need the rest of the week off.  I need to avoid the SAS...and rest.  Pierre thinks my cells are tired...funny man.