Monday, August 8, 2016

Let's do it all again!


I am back to rehab workouts.  YEAH!  I'm so happy.

 It's wasn't a magical pinched nerve...I've torn some shit up in my shoulder.

Well, I am trying to be happy.  I am trying to think about the fact that at least I am working out hard enough and often enough to hurt myself.  Yeah, I know that sounds weird...but I could still be sitting on the couch...right?  Right?

Well...I did a lot of that this weekend, had too many cookies and drank too much wine.  But I have to be done feeling sorry for myself.

Hard not to go to the place of "what did I do to myself" "why did I fuck up AGAIN"

Hell..I didn't start lifting til my mid forties, with no base from any sports in my youth.  I pushed....Too hard.  I'm still learning, I'll keep learning, I'll make mistakes.

Right now I don't feel like pushing anything, I suspect I should have never given anything in sports a try.  But I also know how stupid and filled with self pity that sounds...and yuck.  So, no, I won't be working on lifting in prep for my first powerlifitng meet and I won't be posting throwing practice work either.  I'll be trying to do the work to rehab this torn shoulder....I'm working with Paul and Jennifer and my doc to avoid surgery....And I will be walking...and trying to lay off the cookies....and trying not to lose all my strength...and cookies.

I can't even joke about Zumba or Yoga 'cause I can't get my arm above my head, nor put pressure on it without pain.

The hardest thing so far was to contact Steve and tell him I can't go to Pleasanton.

I love that game....I even went last year..WAY too soon after heart surgery.

It's been a rough year for me and my body and throwing....I've had to put it on the back burner for a couple of reasons....hurting my shoulder makes me feel like I'll never get back to it.  And really? There is no way to tell what will happen.  I know it came into my life just as I needed it...and as someone who loves me pointed out; it probably saved my life too.  But it was completely unexpected.

Who knows.

All I know is if I can get stronger than I ever was AFTER heart surgery...I can work on this shoulder too.

I do feel a bit sad and foggy and gross right now.

Gonna check in with BJ...maybe start working on a plan so I'm not such a Debbie Downer.


  1. I hope you heal up quick. Injuries are a part of life for every single serious athlete. It sucks. But it happens. And we come back. Because we're bad ass. Being so bad ass is why we get hurt to begin with.