Thursday, March 19, 2015

Sound of my own silence...

Been missing the gym this week.

Will miss today too....I have an audition, so...yea there is that.

Went yesterday and did mobility and some drills.  I'm feeling a little better...starting to get the sugar back under long boring struggle...blah blah blah.

Tuesday I got naked for one of only 3 people I feel comfortable getting naked of my trusted body workers...

And we joked about how I STILL had not shaved my legs.

Not this time, but last week, Dan and I chatted about the work we have been doing.  I have been seeing Dan for a long time.  When I first saw him...and for many years after..I pretty much only went to see him for my neck pain.  He told me that he remembered how "careful" he had to be with me.

He isn't anymore.

Well....I am making that sound weird.  He is still very careful, very specific...but now he grinds loose all of the big stuff for me...Hamstrings, Glutes, my midback...and he works the ribs...ankles...forearms. Digs deep, I swear sometimes I think he gets up on the table with me and uses his full self to drive deep into a muscle...I mean, I know he really doesn't but dang. He was working on my right arm Tuesday and said..oh...this is your throwing arm isn't it?  I can feel the power!

Dan makes me giggle too, as you can imagine.

Strange to me that as I approach this first game I am headed back to the massage table instead of the gym.

On a different note....

I've had more than a few people say to me over the last few weeks, " I had no idea, why didn't you tell me." or "man you sure kept that quiet."

Odd. Did I?

I realized that's true.  I mean, I do wear my heart on my sleeve and I swear people can read what's up with me on my face. But, good or bad...I tend to clam up. So perhaps....I don't show what's happening.  Hell, not that I think every detail of someone's life should be out there...but even people I consider to be close friends...perhaps it is just life long training...

If you hide the bad hard does it become to share the good?

I am very shabby and very loved.

There....there is the best I have to offer...

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