blurg

I promised myself I'd write...but I am one crabby~bitchy~ungrateful~angry momma today so lets see how this goes shall we?

Hit the gym last night...was not looking forward to it, I have seem to be running out of stream by the end of the day and as I mentioned before I am not feeling very good lately.  I did have this thought after I wrote the last blog that it is sorta amazing to me that I feel good in my body at all! That is still a new sort of feeling....and even nicer that I MISSED it!

So, with some internal and external coaxing I made it to the gym.  It was snatch day for me and well, I was not feeling it...(keep your dirty thoughts at a low roar).  So..I avoided it for a while.

I started with a nice little warm up...then I moved to stone drills...stuff I am stealing from strong & far..one foot up on a low box...supposed to help train you to launch off your back leg...the hip.  Then standing...then some open throws...felt good...then to hammer.  I have a heavy practice hammer and I decided to bring it to the gym because I have found in the last two competitions that the heavy hammer was throwing me off.  So some hammer winds with the heavy....good to stay low and try and keep my feet stable.  Hope it helps.

Then it was time to deal with snatches.....NOW...I am going LIGHT to deal with speed and to fix my form....

3x3
2x2
1x1

I asked Shane if I could use his platforms with was great AND as a super added bonus I got to lift next to Dominick...he is great to watch.  Dominick from Miller Weightlifting is the one who helped me discover I had a lazy back.  So I am working on my snatches...hang snatches mind you....AND in the hang position I hold for 3-5 seconds.  I know that doesn't sound like much, but it is for me...especially with 75 pounds.

Then I was done....but I went outside and tossed the sheaf around a bit...then I did some good mornings and back extensions. 

I left the gym....sore and feeling like I had actually pushed myself in a way I have not for quite some time.  I also resisted checking my pulse every 2 minutes.  Got home, everyone pitched in and banged out dinner...and then...hmmmm, I went outside and threw things at my neighbors. WDF is still not coming...but I'll get it.  I am making tiny corrections that I think are beginning to stick...just not consistently.

Woke up sore.

I liked it.

Oh..just for my friend Cody here is the short version of my near fight at Isotopes Park on Saturday.  Game went really late because of the brawl on the field that night. So about 11PM or so this group of folks that were sitting near us...SINCE 7...got really crabby that we were yelling at players (we always do and had been all night)...so the guy snaps at Pierre, who basically says, if you don't want us to yell, go watch it on TV.  It was weird because my friend Chad had been chatting with them earlier...they were Memphis fans...no big deal right?  Chad asks the guy to calm down...then the guy asks Chad it he wants to fight in the parking lot.  WHAT??  ( not Pierre?)  Something about that moment, those words, the fact that my kid was sitting next to him, made me snap...

I freaking found myself on my feet offering to fight him myself.  Honestly....I so wanted that guy to come at me...I so wanted to punch him....I had this uncontrolled rage just ooooozing from every pore.

They left....calling us hippies as they did...which made everyone laugh.

I was quite embarrassed by my behavior and am pretty sure that the folks we always go to games with won't wanna go with me again...and I really don't know why it happened.  I think I may be back in an emotional place that is really dangerous for me....I have everything so tightly controlled; to try to control everything....which I know is an illusion...big joke on me with that one.  Trying so hard to not feel what I am feeling that it spills out in the stands of the 'topes game.

Dopey girl.

Oh well....Missed the noon workout today so it looks like I have to gear myself up to workout tonight, feel free to text me something that will badger me to get to the gym....and I start rehearsals on Thursday...for what I cannot yet share....but I am thrilled and terrified.