Share or no?

 I have seen some of those goal oriented memes lately....clearly my phone is listening to not just the shit I say out loud, but my shitty self talk as well.  There are two basic types....

The "accountability" type...you know....shout your goals to the world and get the damn support you want...and the "hide this shit ad surprise them" type....you know....plan your goal, dig deep, and shock the hell out of the people who said you couldn't do it.

I have generally been a share kind of person.  For example, I used to post throwing goals on this blog before I went to a game....but as for food goals or self care stuff...I have kept that pretty much to myself...So the idea of hiding a goal and unleashing it on the world seems odd..like...who cares?  

I think most of us are just half way struggling with working out, with food, with drinking too much, with watching too much TV, to even be thinking of how the people around us are gonna be "blown away" or some silly shit.

For right now, I don't post goals...because, well.....I can't seem to stick to anything....so the asshole thinking I can't do something...is...me.  

HA!

Anyhooo...my ankle is actually looking sorta decent.  I also had this thought the other day....I probably tore this thing in July of 2019.....AND I KEPT THROWING....like while building a show with Rod....and I threw well at Pleasanton that year....Like really well....Like a  49 foot heavy weight good...and here I am now scared shitless to actually throw....I am cautious and timid....I am more afraid of this Achilles healing process than my heart surgery healing process..

What the holy hell brain?

I know though too, that part of this struggle is a struggle about throwing AT ALL...

So there is THAT to contend with.

Thanks for coming along on this rambling blog......