Weakest Link

So I am starting my third week of this new programing....I am still sore...

But that's not my issue at the moment.

I had a fantastic ego check yesterday at the gym.  It was super busy when I got there...lots of folks, all the dead lift platforms were taken, so I warmed up a bit and looked around.  Like really looked around.

I haven't been the friendliest of bitches since I had to accept the closing of my gym.  I do what it seemed to me "everyone" was doing at the gym.  Put my head phones on and put my head down and shut up and lift.

But.

I saw something different yesterday.

I saw lots of little groups..people moving from platform to the rack to check in or spot or slap someone playfully.  I saw people laying on the fake grass and stretching together.  I saw a trainer tease a guy for nearly knocking him down with a sled...

I saw a community.

I'm not part of it, but it is there.

The other thing I saw, really saw the last few times at the gym?  Ha...I saw me.

See, the 2 gyms I have "belonged" to since 2010, I had grown accustomed to being the joker, the slow one, the older one, but the strong one as well.  I think I liked that little badge I wore.

Lemme tell ya....

At Iron Soul?  I'm the weak one, the inexperienced, the newbie....

Ahhhhh, I have lost that little piece I carried...The "I'm not cute, or fast or agile, but I'm the 'strong woman lifting in the corner' at the gym."  A nifty little label I made for myself.

And it's good. Good to shed that shit. Good to be the weak one.

It's a damn good thing to lose that label.  I look at the women at this gym and I am excited to be around so many who are so skilled, so much stronger than I. When I was an actor (like 100 years ago) and when I am on the field...I want to be surrounded by people who are better, more skilled, more experienced....selfishly?  yes...that's how I get better.  But it also strips me down of labels I place on myself that are useless, ego driven, that keep me stuck.

I'm not needing to compete with anyone; I don't need to be the strongest, it isn't about that...but I see all these women and I think....be better.

Be better, for me.