Ears...

Those of you who know me and the 8 of you who read my rambling know that as I approach 49 that I am trying really really hard not to panic about my health. I still find myself, much to Grant's annoyance, predicting an impending heart attack or a stroke.  I am experiencing a bit of numbness again...some of it down my leg...but when I am careful about mobility and the position of my neck; it goes away. 

AnyHoooo.

A few weeks ago, I was parked on the couch, watching a cooking show or something, when I thought I heard my heart beat in my ear.  It was weird though, uneven ~ fast~ then slow... I felt my pulse...it wasn't my heart beat at all....my ear was, for lack of a better word, drumming.

Great....I bet it is a tumor, or spinal cord cancer....

I covered my ear and it went away...

Grant decided I was stuffy.  He insisted on a neti pot.  Gross.  No...ew...

 Ok...I tried it...finally....I am stuffed up..I felt like I had salt water in my eye. 

But it helps.  I am also on some allergy pill thing.  It's always gonna be something.

So...I also had to run a mile this weekend for this new program I am doing.   That went way worse than I anticipated.  I was gonna run it on the treadmill...but fucking kill me now.  I know I can't actually run a mile right now. That is part of the reason for me doing this programming for the next 10 weeks or so.  But I thought I'd run SOME of it (well jog).  Emery came with me and I started up the block at a quick walking pace...it's the up hill section....my plan was to walk fast up hill, then jog parts down hill.  As life would have it, I got to the top of the hill and my right calf cramped.  CRAMPED...so, yeah. Emery caught up to me and we walked together with the dogs...me complaining about my calf the whole way.

We walked the mile in a little over 15 minutes. 

Blistering pace, I know. 

I was sorta upset...but hell, it's not like I don't know how I got into this shape.  So...I have a goal for the retest at the end of the program, run some of it. 

HA.

As for the programing...it is fucking LONG....today took me and hour and a half..I really really wanna try to do this whole damn thing, so I came into Praxis at 7:15.  Tuesdays look to be the toughest days, so I am likely to be up here early. 


Yesterday there were these bike sprint things for 15 minutes and today was a 5000 meter row. I have never ever ever, even when I was "Crossfittin'"  rowed 5000 meters.  I HATE stationary machines...HATE THEM....but I sat my out of condition ass on that freakin' machine for a little over 28 minutes today.  Bargaining with myself the whole time...but I did it....slow as shit...but I did it. 

I may have to write about this program a lot so that I keep doing it, please bear with me.

Gary gave me some shit about it the other day, but as I have told you all and others at the gym; I know what I am getting into...I know I need this....and I know I am gonna suck at everything.  And that is just fine with me....because if I can keep doing this whole thing....I will suck a little less at all of it.  And maybe I can appreciate what my body keeps being capable of...even though I have beat the hell out of it and haven't spent much time appreciating what it can do~what I can do.

I won't be "Leveling Up" but perhaps I will be "not giving up."