Thursday, June 4, 2015

Next day, back to normal...

my ass....

What a load of bull THAT is.  I cannot even believe they have that gall to tell you that!

I mean....Don't get me wrong, I am grateful I feel as good as I do, but "get back to normal life" the day after this thing? UM NO.

Part of my discharge paperwork says that I am not allowed to drive for 3 days.  Can someone please tell me how no one told me no driving for 3 days and how I was supposed to "get back to my normal every day activities" if I can't drive for three days. Oh...and no stairs.


Ok I don't have stairs, but that's sorta basic moving around in the first world sort of issue isn't it?

Oh well.

And seriously, I picked up my purse and I had nasty nasty pressure and pain in my groin and my chest.  My purse.

It isn't a big purse.


I feel ok.  Today I woke up and my chest didn't feel heavy.  That's sorta amazing I think....I mean they did just root around in there on Tuesday.  The heavy has sorta come back a little this morning, pings of pain on my left side...but much less than yesterday.  I do after all have a burn inside my heart that needs to heal.

And....oh yes...I was awake.  The pre op appointment guy, as much as I liked him...well...he was misleading.  I was awake.  They numbed the legs...but that hurt...the doc warned me as he was about to drive those catheters in, but drive in he did.  And yes...I felt the things enter my heart.

At first I thought he was going right through my throat.  I almost felt like I was going to vomit.  Then I could feel strong strong pressure against my chest wall...I couldn't see anyone during the procedure unless they came specifically over to talk to me...They gave me a little bit to calm me at first, but at one point the nurse, Sergio, came over to my head...I think he saw the tears rolling down my cheeks and he said to the doc, "She's is really awake, awake, I think we need to give her a little more." Thanks Sergio!  It took a little edge off, but I get it, they needed to play with my heart. Which was...weird and kinda awful. I just kept reminding myself that they needed to mess with the pace to find the problem.  First, they must have been using charges, they kept saying "ok we are going to pace your heart"...oh, did I forget to mention just how wired I was...I had grounding pads on my thighs and on my back and I was strapped down to the table(gag)...they seemed unable to get the SVT to stick just with the electrical charges so then they used a synthetic adrenalin....(or something)

That was really really awful....but as horrible as it felt, they got super excited.."See there it is, I'm98% sure it's there, roll back the video.  Yeah it's still there."  I knew that's what they needed to do.  Then they gave me a little more to knock me out....that's when he did the burn.

Then I was awake again and they were testing my heart...more electric charges, more adrenaline type stuff...make it race, make it come down.

He tried to keep it up and going and couldn't, so he was happy.  I was happy I was almost done and would stop feeling the pain and pressure in my chest.

Sergio told me I stayed super still and made the surgery easier for him to do.  I am sure they tell all their patients that, but it was still nice to hear. I was using every tool I had to stay calm....I really could feel myself bathed in light and care and prayer and love and all sorts of good stuff. As long as I allowed all of that to come into my head and my heart, it kept the fear at bay, really. It was amazing.  I had no "recovery time" from what ever they gave me, wasn't groggy at all....don't think I was out that long at all.

My kiddos were there and Vivi said one of my favorite things ever..."People are not 'done,' food is done. People are 'finished.".....I laughed. 

People had to sign in if they were going to to be in my room for a while, this also made me laugh:

The surgery started almost 2 1/2 hours the kids didn't stay the whole time, but I so needed them there.  I know from spending much of my childhood visiting my dad that there is nothing more boring than hospitals, but I am so happy they were there.  Roxanne was there too and she gave them a break by taking them to the aquarium.  Awesome huh?

I had some minor bleeding when I first tried to walk, but it seemed to go just as they had hoped. way I feel normal yet! normal.  And my dear dear Grant....he is carrying my purse and my lunch and driving me to work...and making me rest...

I am hoping to take a walk tonight, I'll let you know how it goes.

1 comment:

  1. Glad it weren't well and your heading up quickly. Holy Crap that's scary!