Monday, June 22, 2015

Kindness or Guilt

I saw the following on my friend Jose's FB:

I Forgive, 
I Trust people to be who they are, 
I Forgive them when they mess up for it is in their nature,
I Learn from each encounter who they are and trust in that,
I Forgive,

But trust me I do not Forget.....

I trust people...I trust....I am too trusting....

I prefer to trust people and there is something in this line, "I trust people to be who they are", that knocked me on my booty when I saw it today.

I keep trusting people to be....well, I'm not sure.  Kind?  Thoughtful?  Dunno, most people are, but when I keep coming up against the same old same old....thinking, "they can't possibly....there is no way they can think......"

Truth is, I have not trusted people to BE WHO THEY ARE....I was trusting what I want them to be, how I view the world.  I joke about being Polly Anna, but that is me.  I believe that people are mostly good, that the glass is either half full or it can at least be refilled.

That famous quote from Maya Angelou,

“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

And trust them too.

I have been struggling recently with someone who questions my motives.  If I offer help or a kind word I am usually met with a comment later of how I must need to do "nice" things because I feel guilty for something.  I finally stopped trying to have them understand and more recently stopped trying to be helpful or "nice" at all.  My friend Rick helped me with that one.

Then, a week or so ago, someone who cares for me said to me that the only reason someone would need to layer a negative feeling onto something kind you have done, is because that is the only way that they would be able to be kind or thoughtful in the same situation.  They assume ulterior motives because that is what they have, not you. It is contrary to the world view you hold....they believe the world is shit and everyone is out to get everyone else, so of course they question everything you do and say.


Trust them to be who they are, who they have been....believe them when they show you who they are.

Sorry Dr. Angelou, it takes me far longer than the first time to even see it, much less believe it.

But I'll try and I will keep refilling that glass and seeing the good and the beauty in all that I am able.

No comments:

Post a Comment