Monday, February 10, 2014

set back or lesson?

I have been VERY lax about writing again!

I have too many things that I don't feel like being "scotch tape" don't write at all.


So  I do have another buisness that has taken on of the patch spaces on my kilt...

El Parasol...  So thrilled.

Also need to thank

Lisa Huelster
Marcus Neumann

Both contributed after I was 'Fully Funded"  Sweet!

Not to worry...I will use any thing I do not use for Scotland to get to other games in the US. I have also received a few donations directly...I used those to buy my fancy new kilt!  So thank you...

Last week, I was starting to feel a little more focused in the gym...the up coming games at the Arnold were beginning to feel more and more real...and certain other issues in my life were simply becoming "the New Normal."  Well...Thursday came...stupid things happened as they are likely to happen and well, I got angry, mostly hurt, but hurt expresses itself as anger.  I am frankly becoming less and less tolerant of being controlled and told who I am and what I am supposed to do and think. (taking me long enough)...well....I was making dinner....chopping garlic....and yes...sliced my thumb.  I have cut myself in the kitchen plenty of times...but....this...was....more.

Through half of my thumb nail~through half of the thumb.  I'd show you a photo, but I can't take one. 

Thankfully Chris was home and he cleaned it up wrapped it up and has been checking on it.   I really can hardly look at it yet.  The nail is at a terrific gaudy angle.  It probably sliced to or really close to the bone.  The pointer finger felt like it was on fire too....Nerve shit.

Good job.
Last night was the first sleep I got since Thursday...and training?  Well...I tried even simple stuff and it makes it throb and bleed.  


It isn't swollen, but it still throbs and hurts.

I have to pick up a caber in 3 weeks....swing a hammer...dammit.

Did I set myself back...maybe,  maybe things just happen.

Or maybe things happen for a reason.

I am gonna have a nasty scar and my nail will always be messed up....who knows I still may lose part of the thumb...(god I hope not) but the scar and the nasty nail will be a beautiful reminder.

Anger~it is only gonna hurt me. not mistake me, this does not mean that I am giving people a pass to treat me like crap...I did that already...I'm done with that, but if I can see past my anger and see someone's lashing out as their pain....well, that's different. 

My anger...only hurt me...and now I have a scar on the outside to prove it.


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