Was in the gym today...
Dead lift day.
BJ has me going back to the trusty 5x3....at 80%
Well...that just sucks now.
The downside of getting a new one rep max is the multiple lift percentage days.
I was supposed to lift at 325 5 sets of 3. I saw stars after the first set. HUGE rests...it was hard. Really hard.
I got through 4 sets and went for the 5th....could not move the bar at all.
oh well....I have a new place to start.
I have gotten 2 pr's in two major lifts in the last month or so...but I don't think they are real.
Bear with me.
1. They are never videoed or photographed....so did they happen? Kidding...
2. Ok...fuck me, I am in this place again...but I need to say this out loud. I only lifted that weight because I am fat and I have gained weight. Yes...this is what I am currently telling myself.
Then I saw some amazing videos posted by girls who powerlift....all sorts of shapes and sizes lifting and working and getting shit done. Again, I would never ever say to someone else that they only lifted something because they were big...or wrapped in bacon or chubby or whatever..but there it is. I say it to myself.
My lifts aren't real because I am not good enough, by body isn't good enough, I just got lucky, this doesn't take skill when I do it..if it did, I could lift more.
OH GOD SHUT UP.
I look like a middle aged woman who moves weight. And guess what? I fucking love it while I'm at it...squeezing my shoulders down, tightening that belt, feeling the bar press and the weight settle onti my back. I really do.... So this is me right now and this is fine.
And I am strong(and not just for a girl or for an old woman)
Thanks for letting me vent....I know...I know.
Front squats tomorrow...