Challenges

 I have been having the same conversation with folks lately.....

Challenges...not personal challenges, more about like "health" challenges.  Now anyone who has stuck with me for a while knows that I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE a challenge....the Whole 30 being my most frequent challenge that I used to jump into.  I always thought it was about a reset or something.

Over time, I realized that all the Whole 30 reset for me was an unhealthy relationship with food and yet another way to hate myself.

But, that's just me....I mean....if someone else can do that in a health way...go for it.  I can't.

After this little revelation about myself...I got to thinking about all the other challenges I have taken part in since starting this fitness journey of mine over 10 years ago. Especially given the context of how I as thinking of my "off season" training this year...

And you know what?  

None of these...not one...not fitness, not a plank challenge, paleo, intermittent fasting, meditation, yoga, no booze, not one of these has actually changed a fucking thing.  They have all just stirred up unhealthy competitive , "oh fuck if I can't do this I am a failure" kinds of behavior in me. 

So many people I know love this stuff....and it "works" for them...it shifts something...I know I have written before about that 3 weeks to a new habit crap too, and they seem related to me.  I cannot put my finger on how...but they are.

Then I was chatting with my friend Grace about it...and she said something that hit me in a different way.  "These people who push or create all these food challenges have never struggled, they have never struggle to eat or to survive. They have to create their own suffering since they have never really experienced it."

Well, fuck me running.

I'll just leave that thought there...

So, how does this shift my off season thinking?  I had decided to "do yoga" and trust me, there are like 40 billion yoga challenges out there...and yes, I found a 30 day yoga thing on YouTube from a yoga instructor that Emery follows. But....I am not doing it in 30 days...I mean I might...but after the work I did with the nutrition coach Moriah, I decided to listen....really listen to how I feel and listen to what my body is telling me it needs right now.  

Turns out, I am doing it like 5 or 6 days each week so far...frustrating as it may be at time.  I do it when I feel I need it.  

I have also taken a break from training...like lifting...I haven't lifted shit since a week before Worlds...

Don't see me doing it again for a while...maybe a month? Maybe more? Or less?  

No, I am not sitting still, I am just doing something I feel like my body needs right now. 

I also keep meaning to write about worlds too....and I have some thoughts about freakin' yoga too...maybe in a couple of days...