Other than Deadcember...I am not sure what BJ has in store for me. As for my plans? I know the place I need to focus is my mental off season.
I am hoping to create more space for my rattled brain and rattled nerves. I thought about trying yoga again, but we all know how well that goes for me...I will see if Emery will do some Yoga with me at home, I did get into that. I need both more connection and more silence. I guess that would come down to meaning full connections with people. I have been working on healing very old family wounds and I am guessing that work never really ends.
As for my body, I need quiet and silence there too.
Body work.
I have been working with a woman in ABQ who is a cranialsacral therapist. That has been crazy, both physically and in dealing with some of that family stuff I mentioned. That work needs to continue, but I also need to add some massage back into the mix....and well, Charlsey too...
I need a winning lottery ticket.
I know some of that work is on going and need based...especially Charlsey. But, But, But...there is some urgent feeling I have that I need to get help with letting things go in my body and laying some good ground work for self care and big lifts later. HA!
The other place that needs attention is that road to 100 I was working on...well, I haven't updated that road because I went off into the ditch. Happened last year right about this time too. So I'm back at 105 and not happy about it, but not unhappy enough about it to tackle it....otherwise I wouldn't have put it on. So bizarre that a "small" amount of weight pushes me past where I feel comfortable. But yet...I am so hungry all the time. Ha
I think this will relax once I get some of this quiet that I need.
I am also working on a writing project...writing and working on my feet too. I keep telling Grant I need to find an acting class and then I just...don't. I'll find something when it's right. Ahhhh, I finally started seeing theater again too. I contacted Holly and asked for help..."Please Holly be my theater buddy." So, I have actually seen 2 shows in the last month....working on that show anxiety thing.
I try not to put a lot of stock in anniversaries, but they do hold weight for me...this is a rough time of year, for many people; not just me.
Maybe reach out, maybe tell someone the truth when they ask you how you are...
Maybe say "I'm not great right now." You may see relief on their face too, that they don't have to hold on to this happy demeanor when it feels too heavy. Yeah, you may get someone who walks away...that's ok too...
So, if you see me this winter and want to just hear, "I'm fine how are you," it's fine by me if you walk away from me.
Truly.
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