But in time perhaps...and who knows; perhaps just putting this out in the world he will know this somewhere deep in is subconscious. Or, perhaps I am just full of shit Pollyanna (most likely option).
Every year my children used to ask me the same question.
After thinking about it, I decided I'd give them my real answer:
What do I want for Mother's Day? I want you. I want you to
keep coming around, I want you to bring your kids around, I want you to ask me
questions, ask my advice, tell me your problems, ask for my opinion, ask for my
help. I want you to come over and rant about your problems, rant about life,
whatever. Tell me about your job, your worries, your kids, your fur babies. I want
you to continue sharing your life with me. Come over and laugh with me, or
laugh at me, I don't care. Hearing you laugh is music to me.
I spent the better part of my life raising you the best way
I knew how. Now, give me time to sit back and admire my work.
Raid my refrigerator, help yourself, I really don't mind. In
fact, I wouldn't want it any other way.
I want you to spend your money making a better life for you
and your family, I have the things I need. I want to see you happy and healthy.
When you ask me what I want for Mother's Day, I say "nothing" because
you've already been giving me my gift all year. I want you. Even if you don't
think you need or want me anymore.
I love you both in ways that I didn't understand I could even love until I looked in your eyes. I pray for you in the same way I had since you were just a tiny group of cells growing inside me, that you find hope, that you find joy, that you find resilience, and that you know love.
I hope you both knew and know my love for you started long before I knew you and will last past my death.
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