Wednesday, I did a bunch of work on my foot work for WFD...for which I have a sticky place in my head. I was watching Doc Baker practice on Sunday and I was just watching his feet...he was super fast, springy, almost dance like. Made me realize I am plodding thought the foot work. I take the right steps...there is just no flair!
While I was in Deming I watched videos....Not gonna write about Deming yet...too...siiiigh.
Did a bunch of cleans too.
Oh...I was sorta lazy at the gym.
Little sheaf...a little bit of light speedy hang cleans then back extensions and good mornings.
I was watching the rest of the class work...
21-15-9
Overhead squats & burpees.
I was over in my favorite corner...and Eva & Kori were near me.
Can I just say how much these two women inspire me?
Kori~running goddess and vegetarian puts up with all of us meat eating goobers....she trains so fantasticly hard for races that would surely kill me...and she is working her butt off (or on as happens with squatting) to get better at lifting every single time I see her in the gym. Hats off beautiful. You and I could not be further apart on whatever athlete scale some one has laying around a gym somewhere....but damn you motivate me. Just not to run....to be better.
And Eva~Tenacity is the word that pops into my tiny little brain when I watch her working out. Every time I see here...she is coming in with her TODDLER TWINS! Yes people...she makes the commitment to herself and to those kids to her health. I am so impressed...I know it was not something I was willing to do when mine were little and she is kicking burpee butt with her sweet little cheerleaders giggling and rooting for her.
I could write more about feeling sorry for myself about not getting to any games this month or how I have been up 3 nights in a row with a racing heart....but I'd rather think about Kori and Eva kicking my butt~motivating me to do what I can and to just be the best I can right in this moment.
Thanks Ladies....
Trees
Monday, April 29, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
dork
Saw this on my friend Rick Jones' Facebook page...I kinda like it.....
Anyhoo...got the last test back and the good news is it is "normal." Long term...that is really good news...it has been an extremely frustrating month or so since the first incident, but I know I am lucky lucky lucky to only be having heart trouble related to stress and likely my lovely menopause.
A huge shout out too all of my friends (and coaches who are my friends) who have endured my whining...both virtual and in person. I obviously have work to do to keep the heart from racing....and to work my way through this physical and emotional transition....I know I haven't been very pleasant lately....
In the spirit of making fun of myself...here is a conversation I had with myself last week.
M: oh no, my chest kinda hurts, that's new..I don't like it.
m: calm down...have some tea.
M: It's not working...oh no, my arm hurts too...
m: ok ok...what did you do today that was different?
M: nothing...
m: come on..think...what did you do in the gym today?
M: oh...
m: what?
M: I did presses today...kinda heavy.
m: shoulder presses? sigh...what else?
M: cleans....
m: ah cleans and shoulder presses...imagine that and now your chest hurts huh?
M: Can I just go back to deadlifts?
Monday, April 22, 2013
Art & Sport pt.327
It happened in the gym again today.
What you may ask....
Mona~did you wet yourself lifting?
No, actually, not this time...
Mona~did you snap the non~sports bra you wore today to lift?
No, it held...even though I know better than to lift heavy in it.
Mona~did you?
Yes...I cried while I was lifting today.
I know...not very "swole" or "beast mode" of me huh?
It is a throwing week schedule since I ~might~ be going to a games on Friday(more on that later). Back Squats
3x3 135 a warm up set thank you very much.
225 um...felt heavy....I got out from under the bar...looked at it and I got upset. Decided to walk away, get a drink, get over myself.
245 I get under the bar...do my little wiggle ritual...up and down 3 times. doesn't feel heavy.
3x1 255~not thinking I can do much more...this time I get to the bar...and I tear up again~all that goes through my head is the 2 games I missed, the heart pounding crap that now very likely looks like stress and menopause, and I hear this voice that says, " See...you were never meant to be an athlete...you don;t have the courage to do what needs to be done. So~I get under the bar~and up & down.
285~fuck you voice, I am going up. It feels~springy.
305~Don't do it...you shouldn't be lifting this much yet...Up & down...a little slow on the up, but I get it...
I wonder if I will pay for it later.
I do a bunch of other little stuff...gets the heart going...I talk to BJ a little, tell him I am bummed that USAW has the State Meet scheduled for the 18 & 19 of May. I was hoping some of the Zia folks could come to the games...but I also wish I could be with them lifting. I say to him..."I guess it doesn't matter..I'll probably be terrible in May anyway."
"Maybe not...you don't have any expectations now...you have to let go of what you can't do Mona...focus on other things...things you can do...and let these games go. You have the rest of your life."
Let go of what I can't do? My life~at the start, the core had been defined by what I didn't do or didn't accomplish or who I wasn't...I am reminded yet again...that I have different people around me now...people who don't think that way about themselves and never think that about the people they are with....I am still sorta thick headed about this, aren't I?
The people you choose to have in your life really do inform the way you think about yourself.
As for this weekend and Iron Thistle? Guess what happened? Come on...Guess.
Yeah..I got cast in a movie. Supposed to shoot tomorrow...got moved to~ yea...Friday...in Deming.
12 hours from OKC......
What to do? Art trumps Sport this time...even though I wanna throw so bad and with the women signed up...SOOOOO badly. Because I am an ever hopeful type human being...I am packing my gear...just in case....just in case the shoot doesn't take all day. Which it will....but~well who knows.
What you may ask....
Mona~did you wet yourself lifting?
No, actually, not this time...
Mona~did you snap the non~sports bra you wore today to lift?
No, it held...even though I know better than to lift heavy in it.
Mona~did you?
Yes...I cried while I was lifting today.
I know...not very "swole" or "beast mode" of me huh?
It is a throwing week schedule since I ~might~ be going to a games on Friday(more on that later). Back Squats
3x3 135 a warm up set thank you very much.
225 um...felt heavy....I got out from under the bar...looked at it and I got upset. Decided to walk away, get a drink, get over myself.
245 I get under the bar...do my little wiggle ritual...up and down 3 times. doesn't feel heavy.
3x1 255~not thinking I can do much more...this time I get to the bar...and I tear up again~all that goes through my head is the 2 games I missed, the heart pounding crap that now very likely looks like stress and menopause, and I hear this voice that says, " See...you were never meant to be an athlete...you don;t have the courage to do what needs to be done. So~I get under the bar~and up & down.
285~fuck you voice, I am going up. It feels~springy.
305~Don't do it...you shouldn't be lifting this much yet...Up & down...a little slow on the up, but I get it...
I wonder if I will pay for it later.
I do a bunch of other little stuff...gets the heart going...I talk to BJ a little, tell him I am bummed that USAW has the State Meet scheduled for the 18 & 19 of May. I was hoping some of the Zia folks could come to the games...but I also wish I could be with them lifting. I say to him..."I guess it doesn't matter..I'll probably be terrible in May anyway."
"Maybe not...you don't have any expectations now...you have to let go of what you can't do Mona...focus on other things...things you can do...and let these games go. You have the rest of your life."
Let go of what I can't do? My life~at the start, the core had been defined by what I didn't do or didn't accomplish or who I wasn't...I am reminded yet again...that I have different people around me now...people who don't think that way about themselves and never think that about the people they are with....I am still sorta thick headed about this, aren't I?
The people you choose to have in your life really do inform the way you think about yourself.
As for this weekend and Iron Thistle? Guess what happened? Come on...Guess.
Yeah..I got cast in a movie. Supposed to shoot tomorrow...got moved to~ yea...Friday...in Deming.
12 hours from OKC......
What to do? Art trumps Sport this time...even though I wanna throw so bad and with the women signed up...SOOOOO badly. Because I am an ever hopeful type human being...I am packing my gear...just in case....just in case the shoot doesn't take all day. Which it will....but~well who knows.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
waiting....
Well...
Vegas is this weekend. I shall be missing it. I am sort of picking and choosing which doctor to listen to when. My GP said nothing for a month...but the Cardiologist had other ideas. The main reason at this point for missing these games?
I still don't have the tests back.
Ok...let look at the tests shall we?
Cardiac enzymes...normal
Clotting indicators....normal
Muscle enzyme....normal
anemic........not even
dehydration..........a little bit
Thyroid...........Normal
Adrenal Gland....normal
Echo....normal.
See a pattern here? Ah nothing wrong with me I suppose. I am still waiting for one more...the results of the monitor. Hopefully I will have that by Friday.
So, should I have gone? Nope...I am still too stressed by all of this. If the monitor thing comes back fine, I am going to Iron Thistle. See how it goes. I still don't feel like....me.I the mean time, I am down to about a half a cup of coffee in the morning...no booze...drinking camomile/lavender tea like a fool....and I am just sorts jumpy about my pulse.
The weirdest thing about the cardiologist? All of the staff were obese. Now, I know how that sounds...look, I am a big girl...so I feel like I am sensitive to what is a little chubby, a bit big, and obese. I have to admit, I was a little shocked~it is the Heart Institute for christ sake...sorry...yeah...being all judggy.
Then I get in to the little room...and I find my self feeling defensive as the Medical Assistant was taking my info...my favorite question? "Do you avoid salt and fat?" I looked at her and said...salt....when I am left alone...I have this conversation going on in my tiny brain:
I bet this guy is gonna tell me I am fat.
If he tells me I have to start running, I'll scream.
I bet I'll have to defend weightlifting.
If he "looks" like a marathon runner...I am outta here.
Yeah...all before I see this guy. He comes in...and he looks like a guy....fit, but bigger. I feel kinda like a jerk. He asks me the same fucking questions the MA just asked...then he asks what I do to work out. And I feel like more of a jerk...he is supportive and sorta intrigued by what I do. He also tells me...keep working out.
Oh well....I jumped to this place of defending what I do, who I am because I feel sick I guess. Who knows.
As for today...it is a rest day. I am gonna really rest too. Even though I know I bitch about not throwing enough...I won't throw either.
And I'll wait....and probably be told nothing is wrong...again...which is good....but....sigh.
Vegas is this weekend. I shall be missing it. I am sort of picking and choosing which doctor to listen to when. My GP said nothing for a month...but the Cardiologist had other ideas. The main reason at this point for missing these games?
I still don't have the tests back.
Ok...let look at the tests shall we?
Cardiac enzymes...normal
Clotting indicators....normal
Muscle enzyme....normal
anemic........not even
dehydration..........a little bit
Thyroid...........Normal
Adrenal Gland....normal
Echo....normal.
See a pattern here? Ah nothing wrong with me I suppose. I am still waiting for one more...the results of the monitor. Hopefully I will have that by Friday.
So, should I have gone? Nope...I am still too stressed by all of this. If the monitor thing comes back fine, I am going to Iron Thistle. See how it goes. I still don't feel like....me.I the mean time, I am down to about a half a cup of coffee in the morning...no booze...drinking camomile/lavender tea like a fool....and I am just sorts jumpy about my pulse.
The weirdest thing about the cardiologist? All of the staff were obese. Now, I know how that sounds...look, I am a big girl...so I feel like I am sensitive to what is a little chubby, a bit big, and obese. I have to admit, I was a little shocked~it is the Heart Institute for christ sake...sorry...yeah...being all judggy.
Then I get in to the little room...and I find my self feeling defensive as the Medical Assistant was taking my info...my favorite question? "Do you avoid salt and fat?" I looked at her and said...salt....when I am left alone...I have this conversation going on in my tiny brain:
I bet this guy is gonna tell me I am fat.
If he tells me I have to start running, I'll scream.
I bet I'll have to defend weightlifting.
If he "looks" like a marathon runner...I am outta here.
Yeah...all before I see this guy. He comes in...and he looks like a guy....fit, but bigger. I feel kinda like a jerk. He asks me the same fucking questions the MA just asked...then he asks what I do to work out. And I feel like more of a jerk...he is supportive and sorta intrigued by what I do. He also tells me...keep working out.
Oh well....I jumped to this place of defending what I do, who I am because I feel sick I guess. Who knows.
As for today...it is a rest day. I am gonna really rest too. Even though I know I bitch about not throwing enough...I won't throw either.
And I'll wait....and probably be told nothing is wrong...again...which is good....but....sigh.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Back to the numbers
Since both Sarah and my cardiologist told me to lift what I want...I thought I should get some of it down...I am lifting and trying to stay with the programming, but I also find myself making excuses for not doing the things I commit to. Today was a perfect example.
Last night, I dug out some implements with the intention of throwing while Vivi was in her acting class.....well...it was windy...and I didn't change my clothes....and it was windy. So I get home..I can still throw at my neighbors right? But dinner wasn't done....and it was windy....
All I really needed to do was take 10 minutes and I didn't. Lame. I am sharing a rut with Marz I think. Some of the health crap is getting in my head too....had another "incident" on Sunday. I get annoyed and disheartened when it happens. Still, just excuses. I don't seem to be able to kick myself in the ass these days. At this point last year? I was throwing 3 or 4 days a week...
Ok so...enough whining.
Thursday
At noon..I spent an hour throwing in the gym...sheaf...wfd foot work...hammer winds...stone too. Then I went back at 5:30 to do the cleans I had missed. Pam was there and I decided to add the bench press to my day....banded.
3x3 65,85,105
3x1 115, 135 (missed this) 125.
I forgot how crazy the banded lifts can be.
Then my cleans..hang cleans.
4x3
65, 85, 105, 125
Marz helped with the last set cause I didn't want to do them...they felt good...it felt good to feel the pulse rise...then come back down.
Friday
I did this weirdo plyo work...jumping with this sandbag...box jumps, vertical jump...ugh...my extra fattiness was felt during these.
3x5 clean pulls...@155
3x3 dumbbell snatches @ 45
Then 3x10 of back extensions and good mornings.
At the end of Friday...I felt like maybe I could really start to train again...
Saturday, I spent in an Olympic weight lifting class...oh...and hour and a half or so of snatches...yeah....Learned something about the pull...about actively getting under the bar...I think it is gonna change things for me.
Sunday...I threw....like crap....crappy crap. All in my head...got dizzy once too...not thrilled about that. Made me get in my own way even more than I usually do...which is saying something huh!
Today...well..I didn't throw...and I never made it back for the second class. Lifting took a while. I swear Sarah, Faith, and I were not screwing around...but it took forever.
Front squats....I haven't done these in a while.
3x5
3x3
We are supposed to start at 75% of our one rep max...jimmney Christmas.. That means 185...I actually don't believe Will when he gives me the number. Supposed to go to 80 or 85% I don't get there...and yes....I freaking wet my pants on the last damn set. I only go up by 5 pounds by each set...it feels heavy...heavy...heavy.
Start at 185 end at 210....which is only 79%
I gotta snap out of this...I only have 5 weeks to train for worlds and I feel like a mess.
Last night, I dug out some implements with the intention of throwing while Vivi was in her acting class.....well...it was windy...and I didn't change my clothes....and it was windy. So I get home..I can still throw at my neighbors right? But dinner wasn't done....and it was windy....
All I really needed to do was take 10 minutes and I didn't. Lame. I am sharing a rut with Marz I think. Some of the health crap is getting in my head too....had another "incident" on Sunday. I get annoyed and disheartened when it happens. Still, just excuses. I don't seem to be able to kick myself in the ass these days. At this point last year? I was throwing 3 or 4 days a week...
Ok so...enough whining.
Thursday
At noon..I spent an hour throwing in the gym...sheaf...wfd foot work...hammer winds...stone too. Then I went back at 5:30 to do the cleans I had missed. Pam was there and I decided to add the bench press to my day....banded.
3x3 65,85,105
3x1 115, 135 (missed this) 125.
I forgot how crazy the banded lifts can be.
Then my cleans..hang cleans.
4x3
65, 85, 105, 125
Marz helped with the last set cause I didn't want to do them...they felt good...it felt good to feel the pulse rise...then come back down.
Friday
I did this weirdo plyo work...jumping with this sandbag...box jumps, vertical jump...ugh...my extra fattiness was felt during these.
3x5 clean pulls...@155
3x3 dumbbell snatches @ 45
Then 3x10 of back extensions and good mornings.
At the end of Friday...I felt like maybe I could really start to train again...
Saturday, I spent in an Olympic weight lifting class...oh...and hour and a half or so of snatches...yeah....Learned something about the pull...about actively getting under the bar...I think it is gonna change things for me.
Sunday...I threw....like crap....crappy crap. All in my head...got dizzy once too...not thrilled about that. Made me get in my own way even more than I usually do...which is saying something huh!
Today...well..I didn't throw...and I never made it back for the second class. Lifting took a while. I swear Sarah, Faith, and I were not screwing around...but it took forever.
Front squats....I haven't done these in a while.
3x5
3x3
We are supposed to start at 75% of our one rep max...jimmney Christmas.. That means 185...I actually don't believe Will when he gives me the number. Supposed to go to 80 or 85% I don't get there...and yes....I freaking wet my pants on the last damn set. I only go up by 5 pounds by each set...it feels heavy...heavy...heavy.
Start at 185 end at 210....which is only 79%
I gotta snap out of this...I only have 5 weeks to train for worlds and I feel like a mess.
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