Reading

I know I have asked this before....but when did "staged readings" become the standard?

Readings.... I love readings. 

You know the sitting around a living room, or sitting at a table, or doing it in theater even...at a music stand...but a reading.  You know...a reading is a chance for a writer to hear what they have or for a director or theater to hear it out loud to see if it's a piece that works.

What a reading is NOT...is a way to do a "production" without giving anything to the actors.

When you throw production elements into a reading...you give the audience the assumption that this IS a production.  But yet, the actors are given either no or very little direction.  So who loses in this concept of a reading...as usual..the people who are the face of the said reading...the actors.


We are left floundering....audience expecting a full performance....with out the investment of time and energy in the actor's part of the process.

It's why I always ask, and probably why no one asks me to do readings anymore, "Is this a REAL reading? Is this in a living room, at stands?"


I've had 2 reading of the piece Rod and I are working on...and we made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that they were readings...the second time, we even told the audience that we were trying out some of the physical stuff, but that it was still....A READING.....

Ok.  Sorry....I know I am yelling...but please stop using actors like this.....sigh....Rant over.

Weird

2 weird things....

Had yet another weird audition experience...I am baffled by auditioning for things that require a lot of physical movement....when everything is fixed...mark, camera....I think I get even more frozen physically than in a regular audition.  You know it's that feeling like "I know I am supposed to be moving here...but I can't."

Baffling.

And yes, I have done audition workshops...but they always just tell you to ask if you can move...but mostly there is no room to do that. 

So...yeah..it's weird and funny...and well...that's just how it is.  So dang...I applaud all you actors who nail these kinds of auditions....

I have a game this weekend...Aztec...should be a shit show for throwing, but my goals are to remember what my goals are right now....which are not throwing based.  So there ego...take a fucking hike.

I have had a weird year throwing....2 lifetime personal records. Sheaf and Braemar of all things. Came close to a PR on Heavy Weight too....Not been training much...health scare the first half of the year and then the incredible gift that came my way with the show.  So, I think those throws were just fantastic flukes! And paying attention to tiny details and well.....not getting obsessed with numbers. 

Ok....there is something I probably should not write about, but I am going to just a tiny bit.

So....if you have PTSD type triggers...here's your warning to quit reading.


Ok?

Ok....

I had a bad bad bad, no good very bad day yesterday.  I heard some second hand news that sent me into a tail spin, the likes of which I haven't (thankfully) experienced in quite sometime.  It surprised me just how visceral it was....and it was hard to recognize that I lived in that state for so very long.

I learned a couple of things...firstly...yes, even this passes.  Secondly....ah....I use food to find some sort of peace and more than that...food brings me back into the now...so it wasn't THAT terrible a coping device.  Thirdly....the fear really is a liar.

The spinning stories are just that stories....about myself...about the past....about what might happen....about all the things that will NEVER happen.

I backed up and realized that some of the things that I was spinning out about, I have people around me who will make sure those things never happen....that and really...it is just fear talking.  He doesn't know me anymore and I don't know him. 

The last thing I learned is about my "personal bubble."  I have never thought of mine as keeping people at a huge distance, but sometimes my personal bubble really does extend out over at LEAST 2 states...if not 3....

And now?  It's getting closer to my audition reward....Dead Lifts!

oooops

Well....here we are.


More than a month has gone by.

2 Comps....

1 is my fav...the other one I have wanted to go to for years....

And I didn't write.

Oh well...also had a preview and a fund raiser...and a week or so ago we were part of the Santa Fe Theater walk.

So there it is...that's my update.

As for training....James is pulling me back while I prep for the show...thank you James.

I have about 6 weeks til we open and Rod and I are just working...trying to stay focused on the art while also trying to figure out what we don't know about getting a piece produced....

AHHHHHHHH.


Focus on the art, focus on the art.

But truly we do need people to come see it as well.

Can I just shout out about Rod here for a sec?  Over the 25+ years we have worked together I have said this to people over and over....he is fucking brilliant.  Rod has always pushed me to see things in new ways....and to trust when I had nothing left to trust...to keep going when I had nothing left to give.  I could not be doing this without him.

To be able to work with Rod and the long list of actors I have worked with in Santa Fe who are simply dedicated to the work has been such a gift....

And the pathway that open for us to do this work....difficult to explain all the little gifts that I was given that allowed me, at each step to be able to keep saying YES.

The Walk was another gift, pushed and given by Scott Harrison...while I may add, he is in the middle of producing his own show.....that allowed me to see whether or not I could actually speak these truths to people I did not know, did not know if I could trust.

Ok....enough...my list is long....so I shall pause here.

But seriously...Rod is fucking Brilliant.

goals

Sometimes it is very interesting the way people see you...

I'm just going through my days, struggling to get my work outs in.  My personal goals right now are pretty far removed from the gym at the moment.

Some one says to me, "I know you are trying to be some bad ass power lifter chick."



Huh?


No.


1.  I have never imagined myself fitting into the "chick" category.

2.  I only "focused" on power lifting very briefly, post heart surgery.

3. I have great respect for the sport and those who focus on said sport....I simply will never be one of those women....I am not disciplined like they are...

4. I lift to be a better thrower....most of the time.....but right now.....

5.  I lift because I like to lift and frankly, it has been tho ONLY thing that I have ever stuck with.  I don't wanna "be" anything....but I do want to keep moving.


Is it something I should be doing at my advancing age?  Well, some may not think so...but I say yes, yes it is.  Is it "traditional" or gentle or whatever?  No....But I keep coming back to the bar.


I keep coming back to the bar, because the bar doesn't lie.

I can convince myself of all sorts of things when it comes to my "perceived effort" on a walk or on a bike or fuck, even in Yoga....

But as Henry Rollins says...200 pounds will always be 200 pounds....


So, I'll do me and you do you. I know it wasn't meant as an insult or anything....it was just this person's impression and that's OK!!

I'll just be thankful I have found a way to move that keeps me coming back....keeps me moving.  I don't want to BE anything....I just wanna move...and really that is still sorta new for me.  2010....less than 10 years ago...I joined my first gym.  My workouts have changed a ton since then....and you know what?  It can keep changing. But even back then....my favorite days were lifting days....

So, I'll find that bar for as long as I can...as long as it keeps calling me back....

No REP!

I go "no repped" last rehearsal!

For those of you who are not familiar with CrossFit lingo....judges or coaches will yell "No REP" if you miss depth or some other standard.


Last rehearsal......

Me:  Well. I made it through the lifting piece.

Dir: Well, almost.

Me:  What?

Dir:  Well.....

Me:  Whatever, my knee still hurts.

Dir:  I really need to no rep you.

Me: Fine

Dir:  No rep in rep.

Me: ........

Dir:  No rep; in rep in a repertory theater.

Me:  No reppy reps.  The whole rehearsal doesn't count.


Ahhhhh.

Mona and Rod, combining Art and Sport since 2010....but never quite like this.