Old stories and old apologies

First things First...Emery is recovering fantastically!


Ok...I've been wanting to write about something since the day of surgery, but I wasn't sure how without coming off as an asshole.  After Emery and I said our "see you laters" and the wheeled him off I got a phone call. 

From Emery's Dad.

To say that most conversations with him over the last few years have been challenging would be the nicest way to say it.  But, I decided to answer anyway.  I mean I had been keeping him up to date on the surgery stuff and I had JUST sent him a video before Emery went in, so....deep breath...answer the phone.

We were on the phone for probably an hour. 

It was the first time he ever asked how I felt about Emery's transition, we talked about Kegan and the choices he is making right now, we talked about mistakes we both made, and we talked in a small way about how to move forward. 

He also apologized to me. 

I don't remember all of it; nor could I ever give anyone a play by play, but it left me a bit shaken.  I was grateful for the call, more grateful that he and I could talk; really talk and DISCUSS our children. OUR children.

But it also left me a little sad for the things that never were, that never happened, that never could be. Do I think everything is miraculously healed? No. Well, me being...me, I DID have that thought for like 5 minutes....but, I will take that connection and leave it where it was, in that moment.  In that very particular moment everything that happened was real and heartfelt.  It is also important for me to leave it and not expect anything more.


And then Grant posted this:

A man saw a snake being burned to death and decided to take it out of the fire. When he did, the snake bit him. The bite caused excruciating pain, the man dropped the snake, and the reptile fell right back into the fire. The man tried to pull it out again and again the snake bit him. 

Someone who was watching approached the man and said:
“Excuse me, but don't you understand that every time you try to get the snake out of the fire, it's going to bite you? Why are you being stubborn?”

The man replied:
“The nature of the snake is to bite, but that's not gonna change my nature, which is to help.”

So, with the help of a metal pole, the man took the snake out of the fire and saved its life.

Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Do not lose your essence, only take precautions. Worry more about your conscience than your reputation. Your conscience is what you are, and your reputation is simply what others think of you - and what other people think is not your problem... it's theirs.


 ...and something about it really just tugged at me.   I have read it before, but this hit me differently.

Now don't get your panties in a twist, I am NOT calling him the snake or me the snake, what struck me is the nature of who we are issue. 

Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Do not lose your essence, only take precautions. Worry more about your conscience than your reputation. Your conscience is what you are, and your reputation is simply what others think of you - and what other people think is not your problem... it's theirs.

We hurt one another, but it is better for us, for our children if we can have more conversations like we had last week and best for us and our children if we can be who we are...if we honor our natures...and our children's too. 

We don't have to lash out, we just simply need to be who we are.


Oh, this is an athletic blog right...ok  I worked out a little this week and I moved my office and I have a game on Saturday....and BJ hates me 'cause freakin' split squats...

Did I cover it?  Cool.

and thank you...for reading.