hearts

So, I was sent this photo a year ago. Jessica Jones sent it to me on the day before my heart surgery...

Cool....

Crazy and cool.  

At this time last year, I was busy worried about living through the surgery, prepping for post op, and wondering if I would ever feel good; much less strong, again. My life has shifted in crazy ways this year...most of which those of you who follow me already know.  

As for the surgery? As for my heart?  Is it healed....dunno, do our hearts ever heal or what does healing even mean?  Do I catch my heart racing sometimes...maybe...yes and no.  I know lots of it is stress from the fear of my heart not healing.  The fear.  Oh the fear.  At the same time my heart was breaking, I was trying to to open it up to allow for healing.  

Odd feeling.

Do I feel strong?

Define that too.

I could talk numbers and lifts or choices and fear.

All I know for right now, I am certain I have people in my life who will do what Jack is doing in the photo above...stand behind me and let me know that I am worth healing my heart. 

In all it's meanings and manifestations.