Coward.

Having a blast with this new programing at the gym.  It is a 9 week thing...CAT....meant to make you focus on the final piece of the lift...you know....speed at the top.  

Second law: The vector sum of the forces F on an object is equal to the mass m of that object multiplied by the acceleration vector a of the object: F = ma.
 
I get the feeling it is a focus thing...I am trying and frankly I am treating it like I am "throwing" every lift.

giggle.

Time has been removed from the work outs as well...there may be a time limit, but the idea of moving fast to get shit done is being replaced with do the shit RIGHT asshole...which, I kinda like.  But the workouts have been crazy....

Yesterday I was especially off my nut...I had a blast...even though I had to run...both in the warm up and the work out.  During the sprinty workout thinggy I really tried to push it and sprint...well...as much as I sprint( like a drunk hippo).  The result?  I was coughing shit outta my lungs all freaking day.

I haven't been writing much....I kinda feel like the personal stuff has been edited out of my blog...even though, well, it IS my blog. Some of this is because I am sorta sick of myself...sick of my body issues.... and you can read what I am doing if you go on the Zia web page.....and some of this is because I am frankly a coward.

I wait too long to say things and then I build all these stories up around what will happen if I do speak...

YAWN.

I am seeing Paul this week too....the numb thing is back and it is worse.  On Sunday it had crept up my forearms and my feet too....I know it might be inflammation from food, but I have been eating well...so...I'll see if there is a nerve thing going on.  I hope so, even though I have chosen not to believe that Doc from a few years ago, when I start dropping stuff and can't feel my fingers...her words sorta ring through my head.

I shall keep my numb fingers crossed that Paul and I can figure this out and I can avoid what ever disaster my mind keeps focusing on....