had to repost

 I have been struggling with something lately that I have, honestly been too embarrassed to write about.  In large part because I felt If I complained publicly about my body one more time...I would alienate all of my friends who have been so supportive of this journey. It hits me every time I go compete.  I feel good, strong, powerful and in my head I see myself a certain way...then I see photos...and I am torn by my inner vision of self vs. the actual photos of me.

I have not yet accepted how I look and what I choose to pursue athletically...I am still that uptight 15 year old who would stop eating for weeks at a time because I thought I was fat...images in mirrors held me hostage.  I work very hard at seeing the power in the photos of me competing instead of seeing myself through my 15 year old self's eyes.

So...then...I come across this....this bravery...this acceptance...this blog post.


Self acceptance...


My journey is not hers...nor hers, mine....I cannot look at the women at Zia and hate myself for the road I took 15 years ago...

It’s not about what I look like, it’s about where I’ve come from. 

It is also about what I choose to do now....